Kinky Dungeon · Survival Guide

Kinky Sex Survival Guide – Level 4

Kuvahaun tulos haulle bdsm watersportsAh, my young padawan, you’re back and ready for more of my lessons. XD Level 4 is the last post of this mini-series, and in this I gathered everything super kinky. So what is kinky, at least in my opinion? For me, it had always been about the mental aspect of things, never the physical part. It doesn’t need to necessary hurt at all, but you would rarely see these things done in the vanilla bedroom because they can be hard to swallow (pun intended 😛 ). One word can sum up the theme of the following kinks: humiliation. It might not be the first thing that comes to mind when talking about sex, but it has its place in the kinky community, especially for those who are in the Dominant/submissive relationship. So if the things in this level 4 list turns you and your partner on, I welcome thee, to the colorful world of BDSM. 😉

In all seriousness though, methods of humiliation should never be taken lightly as they can give birth to some serious mental damage. If even the mere idea of any of these create stress or other worries, couples should talk it out. On one hand, these are clearly not for everything, not everyone gets aroused from humiliation, pain or adrenalin. On the other hand, kink can be one way to make you let go of unnecessary timidness and self-consciousness. If that’s the case, long and open conversations need to be had as to why these are a no-no. Is it because they don’t sound arousing, or is it because they sound scary for one reason or another. If yes, then what is that reason? And if after a thorough conversation and mutual consent and will to try these out, remember to start slow. Again, I have to remind the importance of the safeword. Never ignore the safeword, and stop immediately when the safeword is uttered. Or use a method my Dom used with me in the beginning when He was just getting to know me and my limits. He gagged me so He told me before we got down to it that He would keep checking on whether I was okay by holding my hand and squeezing it once. And if I was okay to keep going, I was to squeeze back gently. But if I wanted to stop, I was to squeeze back really hard. And I’m quite sure that if I would have hesitated on squeezing back right away, He would have paused long enough to really make sure I was okay. That’s the responsibility of Dominants and Tops and Masters, in addition to respecting the submissive/bottom and the safeword, they also have to know how to read their partner. But the latter will be built slowly and in time, so remember to be patient.

A little cautionary tale before we start with the list. If you’re read other posts here, you might know that I used to hate anal sex, and it’s mostly due to my ex who loves anal sex. In addition to being impatient with the foreplay and stretching that is required with anything anal, he would also ignore my urging for him to go slower. He was vanilla and so was I when I was still with him, we didn’t have any safeword procedure. But you would imagine that ‘go slower’ or even ‘stop’ would have been enough but no. The pain from anal wasn’t the worst thing, it was the strong sense of disrespect that I felt. His reasoning was that it felt too good to stop, and the fact that I probably wouldn’t give any anal anytime soon so he had to at least come. Yup. No wonder I was traumatized when it comes to anal, or vanilla sex in general. The first time I used my safeword with my Dom, seeing Him drop everything He was doing and tending to me and making sure that I was okay, it meant a lot to me. Because I would never feel unsure with Him, because I know for a fact that I am His priority even when I’m gagged and bound and He would never ignore my safeword just because it feels too good to stop. And because of that, He made me never want to stop, He made me take much more of everything, pain, pleasure, humiliation, than I ever imagined I can.

Alright, enough stories. Here comes the kinky list! 😉

Continue reading “Kinky Sex Survival Guide – Level 4”

Kinky Dungeon · Survival Guide

Kinky Sex Survival Guide – Level 3

Welcome back to the Kinky Sex Survival Guide! We are already at level three! If you just stumbled upon this little kinky guide, do check level one and two out first. In my opinion, level three might be the invisible line that if crossed, it would officially make you and your partner kinksters. Yes, you will then receive kinkster pin in the mail and a magical tattoo would appear on your forehead that says kinky that only other kinky people can see. XD That would actually be super cool. 😛 Remember the things you learned from the first two levels when you try the following ten new things. All of them involve practice to get it right, and some of them can be dangerous if done carelessly so again, do talk about these with your partner before attempting any of these and start slow and observe how it to feel both to give and receive. Remember, the three mottos of any kinky business is safe, sane and consensual. Enough lecturing, let’s get dirty. 😉

Continue reading “Kinky Sex Survival Guide – Level 3”

Kinky Dungeon · Survival Guide

Kinky Sex Survival Guide – Level 2

I hope you all had a very sexy Valentine’s Day! 😉 And if you tried the kinky little things I wrote about last week and you had an extraordinarily nice lovers’ day, you just might be ready and eager to advance to the next level. So this kinky girl had prepared ten things of level two. Some might think that planning and preparing for sex may sound a little… well, not sexy, cos for some, passion has to be spontaneous. Trust me, the kinky and spontaneous combo will come with trust and with a suitable partner, but before that, planning and preparing can also be some delicious anticipation. Also, level two items might require some talking over, especially if you are new at kink. Because even simple things can have potential to do some damage mentally, physically and the worst of all, damage the relationship. So just talk it all over, re-talk it over and have some fun while you’re at it. I mean, sex is most definitely one of my favorite subjects to talk about. 😛 So level two, plan and talk and try these next ten things out. 😉

1. Safewords
Kuvahaun tulos haulle safewordOkay, I know safewords are joked about in movies and books, but personally, I think every couple needs one, inside and/or outside of the bedroom. Whenever doing something out of the ordinary, in this case kinky sex, a safeword can make you feel much safer, just as its name suggests. But if you do decide to use a safeword, both participants have to understand the importance of the word. It’s not something to be said lightly, and it’s definitely not something to be taken lightly. You can either choose a word that wouldn’t be included in the ordinary conversation or use the traditional traffic light (red, yellow, green). You can also give your own meanings to the traffic lights. The most important thing to remember is, never ignore a safeword. Kink is always based on trust, and nothing would break that trust as thoroughly as something like ignoring the safeword.

Continue reading “Kinky Sex Survival Guide – Level 2”