I try to live every day in a way that it would either give me a story or yield me a lesson. Be it a good or a bad thing, it would still give me a good story to tell or a lesson to learn, best case scenarios both. My three Doms were a great source of stories, but each one of them also taught me a lot. They taught me things about my submission, how to be a submissive, what it means to be a submissive, lessons in pleasure and pain, and also through them I learned a lot about myself as a person. As a matter of fact, all my exes taught me about myself, but those are stories for another day. Today I’m concentrating on sharing things my Doms had taught me. Especially now that I’m in the role of a sadist and find myself in the position of the one in charge, I found myself needing those lessons from my Doms more than ever.
Things had changed since my last entry. I don’t have a Dom now, and since the beginning of the year I decided to put my submissive side to the backseat for a year, and concentrate on… well, everything else. I switched my ‘role’ from submissive to sadist on my Fetlife profile, just so that I won’t get unrequested messages from Doms looking for subs. I’ve spent some time to decide what sadism meant to me, and whether it’s tied to my submissive side. I’ve come to a conclusion that I am not a sexual sadist, as I might be a sexual masochist. As a matter of fact, I’m not even sure I’m a masochist, or is that just something that is part of my submission. Well, I might need to explore that part next year. But for now, my sadist side. I don’t get sexually turned on by hurting others, I just simply really love doing it.
May I Be Kinky. May as in this month. 😛 Courtesy of Atticus, he came up with the pun when I told him about my busy kinky plans for May. So this is going to be more like a short kinky life update. 😛
In short, there are going to be two munches, two parties, and an afternoon date event for kinky singles looking to mingle. Attending my first munch a few months ago was definitely one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I love the community here in my little country, I love the great people in the scene. And I feel so honored to be part of the community. Took me long enough to join, now that I’m in, I don’t see myself going anywhere.
So basically, the next four weekends all pack some kinky fun. I might be meeting with a potential sub who enjoys the bruising kind of pain who is eager to taste the cane. I will talk about it more if and when it actually comes to fruition and not now, I don’t want to jinx it. I do feel like talking about me topping, cos I haven’t thought about doing that before but I’ve had a change of heart, maybe, due to a conversation I had at a munch.
Which brings me to the next update. I want to start a new blog post series called ‘Munch For Thought’. I get to meet many smart and fascinating people and sometimes the convos go quite deep and even philosophical. Above all, they make me think about my kink and my roles. Mingling with other kinky people, their ideas and thoughts are bound to affect me on my kinky journey, and I welcome all kinds of changes. I used to see myself quite straight-forward, about what I want and what I like when it comes to kink and I did have very strong opinions about things. But like everything in life, only change is constant. And I might be stubborn and have strong points of view, well, until someone or something comes along and change my mind. And I always welcome change, it can be painful but it also can be very beautiful and what life is all about. I will leave all the deep stuff for later, I think Sundays might be a good day for ‘Munch For Thought’ posts since they might not be too long and they are more emo and less practical than posts on Kinky Wednesdays. I swear I’m doing all I can to get this little blog back on track. While still trying to attend all the kinky events. While still desperately fighting to read that 50 books this year. While still trying to get in great shape. I’m happier when I keep busy. 🙂
Let me know in the comments whether you would be interested to read about me at those parties and date event. 😛 Well, I might still write about them anyway. Until then, stay kinky! 😉