My Favorite Songs of 2019

Welcome to the first Jukebox Friday of the new decade! 😀 There were many great songs that came out in 2019 so I want to list five of my favorites of the year.

1. Anxiety ft. Selena Gomez – Julia Michaels

It took me a long time to even realize that I get anxiety sometimes, but unlike the kind of anxiety that I’ve learned from the movies and such, I almost only get them when I’m by myself or alone with someone who triggers my anxiety. It feels like this giant hole of emptiness opening inside of me and threatens to swallow me whole and I would be trapped inside of it and I wouldn’t be able to snap out of it by myself and I would just scream and scream inside but no sounds come out. That’s why I like being around people, cos they calm me. That’s why I don’t like silence when I’m home alone. That’s why I’m a Youtube addict. And that’s also why I love this song.

Favorite parts of the lyrics:

“I try my best just to be social. I make all these plans with friends and hope they call and cancel. Then I overthink about the things I’m missing. Now I’m wishing I was with ’em.”

“Feel like I’m always apologizing for feeling. Like I’m out of my mind when I’m doing just fine.”

“Always wanted to be one of those people in the room that says something and everyone puts their hand up. Like, “If you’re sad put your hand up. If you hate someone, put your hand up. If you’re scared, put your hand up”

“I’ve been told that I could take something to fix it. Damn, I wish it, I wish it was that simple.”

“I got all these thoughts, running through my mind. All the damn time and I can’t seem to shut it off. I think I’m doing fine most of the time. I think that I’m alright, but I can’t seem to shut it off.”

2. Dancing with a Stranger – Sam Smith, Normani

I know it’s been years now from the break-up with my ex-Dom, but I guess it wasn’t until last year that I really started to process the whole thing and began the getting better part. So for the better part of the year, I was feeling this song.

3. bad guy – Billie Eilish

There isn’t a bigger story with this one, it’s just a really good song that makes me feel like a dangerous woman. 😀

4. Watermelon Sugar – Harry Styles

I’m really feeling the new Harry Styles and his music. 😀 And this is pure summer, the whole song. It warms my body and protects it against the winter chills. 😛

5. Prom Queen – Catie Turner

Last but definitely not least, my absolute favorite song of the year. The simplicity of the tune, the singing, all that emotions in Catie’s voice and oh the lyrics. So raw and kinda sad how much of the teen angst I can feel at the age of 35.

My favorite parts of the lyrics:

“I’m holding on but barely, plagued by teenage popularity. It’s a terrible feeling being the ghost on the wall that’s always disappearing.”

“Cause I wanna be somebody to someone but it all is starting to blur like a dream. Burn the sash and smash that tiara.
No that’s not me, I’ll never be prom queen.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay. I’ll convince myself it’s overrated anyway. It’s okay, it’s alright. The jealousy in my bones won’t rattle it right.”

Five Songs I Love to Hum

I’m a hummer. Well, actually I like to sing more but when I’m not home alone, I would hum more. Sometimes it’s some song that is stuck in my head for some reason, but most of the time it’s the same five songs I have on my humming/singing rotation. Funny enough, they all have this dreamy quality to them. I mean, two of them even have the word ‘dream’ in the song title. 😀 So let’s go on to a little dreamy trip, shall we?

1. Close To You – Carpenters

By far my favorite song to hum and sing. One of the reasons is that it sits perfectly with my voice, it’s impossible for me not to smile while singing this. I could swear that this song is partly the reason why blue eyes are my favorite on my partners. 😀 That’s why all my fantasy partners in my naughty short stories have blue eyes. 😛

The Marina Special, part 2

I know I said Sundays, but it is truly sad how one tiny headache would put me down for one whole day. I got nothing done yesterday! Welcome to your mid-thirties, am I right? XD Well, anyways, here we are, slightly late but better late than never. 😛 Here’s The Marina Special, part 2 – my favorite lyrics from the album ‘Electra Heart’, by far my favorite album of Marina and the Diamonds. Go have a listen of the part 1 if you haven’t yet. Please enjoy! ^^

Primadonna
Primadonna girl. All I ever wanted was the world. I can’t help that I need it all. The primadonna life, the rise and fall. You say that I’m kinda difficult but it’s always someone else’s fault. Got you wrapped around my finger, babe. You can count on me to misbehave.
I’m sad to the core. Everyday is a chore. When you give, I want more, I wanna be adored.
Get what I want ’cause I ask for it. Not because I’m really that deserving of it.
Living life like I’m in a play. In the limelight, I want to stay. I know I’ve got a big ego. I really don’t know why it’s such a big deal, though.
Going up, going down. Anything for the crown.

Lies
You’re never gonna love me, so what’s the use? What’s the point in playing a game you’re gonna lose? What’s the point in saying you love me like a friend? What’s the point in saying it’s never gonna end?
You’re too proud to say that you made a mistake. You’re a coward till the end. I don’t wanna admit that we’re not gonna fit. No, I’m not the type that you like. Why don’t we just pretend?
Lies… Don’t wanna know, don’t wanna know. I can’t let you go, can’t let you go. I just want it to be perfect. To believe it’s all been worth the fight. Lies… Don’t wanna know, don’t wanna know.
You only ever touch me in the dark. Only if we’re drinking, can you see my spark. And only in the evening could you give yourself to me. Cause the night is your woman, and she’ll set you free.

Homewrecker
Every boyfriend is the one, until otherwise proven. The good are never easy, the easy never good. And love, it never happens like you think it really should. Deception and perfection are wonderful traits. One will breed love, the other, hate. You’ll find me in the lonely hearts under ‘I’m after a brand new start’. And I don’t belong to anyone. They call me homewrecker.
Girls and their curls and their gourmet vomit. Boys and their toys and their six-inch rockets. We’re all very lovely ’til we get to know each other. As we stop becoming friends and we start becoming lovers. And I don’t belong to anyone. They call me homewrecker.
I’m only happy when I’m on the run. I break a million hearts just for fun. I don’t belong to anyone. I guess you could say that my life’s a mess. But I’m still looking pretty in this dress. I’m the image of deception.
When everything is life and death. You may feel like there’s nothing left. Instead of love and trust and laughter. What you get is happy never after. But deep down all you want is love. The pure kind we all dream of. But we cannot escape the past. So you and I will never last. Cause I’m a homewrecker.

Don’t Stop Me Now – Queen

Oh my God, I can’t believe I forgot about Jukebox Friday yesterday! Can’t let Freddie down like that cos the Queen month continues! With a song that’s probably my favorite Queen song right after Bohemian Rhapsody. And it suits today’s mood after a tough week mentally. Go let’s go!

Favorite parts of the lyrics:

“Tonight, I’m gonna have myself a real good time
I feel alive and the world I’ll turn it inside out”

“I’m havin’ a good time, I don’t want to stop at all”

Shake It Out – Glee

It’s sunny Good Friday! I’m not particularly religious by any means, but am always grateful for having days off work. 😀 I’m in the mood in sharing something beautiful and suiting for this day, and decided on one of my favorite songs of all time ‘Shake it Out’, originally by Florence + The Machine. Not that I don’t like their rendition, I adore it. But just not as much as I adore Glee’s all female version of it. It just feels like a song that’s supposed to be acoustic. Enjoy and have a peaceful Good Friday.

My favorite parts of the lyrics:

“And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself”

“And I’ve been a fool and I’ve been blind
I can never leave the past behind”

“And I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I’m gonna cut it out and then restart
‘Cause I like to keep my issues strong
It’s always darkest before the dawn”

“And it’s hard to dance with a devil on your back
And given half the chance would I take any of it back”

“And I’m damned if I do and I’m damned if I don’t
So here’s to drinks in the dark at the end of my road
And I’m ready to suffer and I’m ready to hope
It’s a shot in the dark and right at my throat
‘Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Well what the hell, I’m gonna let it happen to me”