Jukebox Friday

Songs of 2017

Welcome to Jukebox Friday! This year has been pretty light on music as in I didn’t have that much time to actively discover new music. I only purchased two albums, Sam Smith’s ‘Thrill of it All’ and of course, the soundtrack of ‘Call Me By Your Name’. The rest of the music experience was based on Youtube. So I listed six songs that came out 2017 and they made my life more awesome. Here we go.

I kicked the year off with Lorde’s new powerful single, ‘Liability’. Although ‘Green Light’ might be the biggest hit of her new album, I love the simplicity of ‘Liability’, its meaningful, touching lyrics and the haunting melody. My favorite parts of the lyrics… well, actually, the whole song.

I know I know, quite a tone change. Well a girl gotta have something to dance to and my choice of the year is not the freakishly annoying Spanish song that had been playing non-stop on the radio, we don’t say the D-word here. Heh, JK. Despacito is okay, but I like a little more umph with my dancing music. What can I say, I love Nicki Minaj.

Then, to kick the summer heat up a notch, my girl Selena Gomez dropped a new single, and it’s so dreamy, she’s so pretty and this is just the perfect summer song. The tune is just so sexy. And I happen to be a big fan of Selena’s whispery voice, it’s like she’s tickling the inside of my ear.

Holy shit girl, where have you been? I’ve been obsessed with this for weeks after it came out, cos when I clicked on the newest Kesha music video after so many years, I did not expect this. It’s like I heard her voice the very first time, her real voice. And that high note? To die for. Who doesn’t love a great comeback, right? You go girl!

Then came the darkening autumn evenings and one of my absolute favorite voice in the world is back, Sam Smith with his new album. And I love watching him perform live, cos he is one of those rare artists that sound better when they sing live. His high notes are some of the best, and there is that one sweet spot where Sam’s voice sounds high but still crystal clear when it’s not quite falsetto yet, it sounds freaking amazing. And all that emotion that he injects into his performances is simply a joy to watch.

There are some of those moments when you forget how good of a singer Kelly Clarkson is. And then she would release a single like this that kindly reminds you by blowing your freaking mind. Holy shit this is good. And with that tune and those feelings, it’s good to begin a whole new year in music. 🙂 Happy Friday!

Jukebox Friday

Stories: Strange and Beautiful (I’ll Put A Spell On You) – Aqualung

The year was 2009. I broke up from my first boyfriend of three years, was about to graduate from college and was also on the verge of a major self-discovery, my sexuality, my identity as a submissive. I was confused, I was lost, but I was excited because I felt like I finally found myself. That year remains one of the biggest turning points of my life. I was single, I was obsessed with Twilight. Well, maybe not Twilight, just the strong feelings it created inside of me. It was the reason that drove me to discover Twilight fanfiction, and along with that a fanfiction piece called ‘Submissive‘ in which I identified myself. And from there it really took the longest, most winding road to the person I am today, and to the experiences, I’ve had these past few years, and eventually to this blog right here. But before my sexual evolution, I read another fanfiction story that taught me how to deal with my emotions, angst and how to be true to myself and how to express it. It’s a story called “Wide Awake“, it’s still free to read online so go check it out if you want to. Even if it’s a fanfiction of Twilight, it had absolutely nothing in common other than the names. What also made “Wide Awake” so special to me was the music. Almost in every chapter, the author would name a song she was listening to while writing. And those songs together became a list on my iPod called ‘Stories’. Each and every one of them represents a very strong emotion, not necessarily any single memory, simply just the way I felt when I was discovering myself. For eight years now, I’ve had that same list of songs that I would listen to whenever I’m feeling lost, emotional, angsty or simply when I want to refocus and remind myself that I’m the one who matters the most. In some sense, these songs is me in its rawest form, at my most vulnerable state.

So I thought I would share my song list here on Jukebox Fridays, one song at a time. They might not be as profound to you as they would always be to me, but I hope you would enjoy. First on the list – ‘Strange and Beautiful’ by Aqualung. My favorite parts of the lyrics:

“Sometimes the last thing you want comes in first
Sometimes the first thing you want never comes
But I know that waiting is all you can do”

Jukebox Friday

She Used To Be Mine – Sara Bareilles

Friday finally, after a tiring week. I was just tired, physically and mentally. But I kinda promised myself not to hide from my own feelings, whether they be good or bad, so I turned to my pile of Sara Bareilles CDs. Her music can be intense, her best songs are those in which you can find yourself. “She Used To Be Mine” is one of them. I remember when I first heard it, I cried like a baby because she was singing about me. First time I heard the song, I resonated with the following part of the lyrics the most:

She’s imperfect, but she tries
She is good, but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won’t ask for help
She is messy, but she’s kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she used to be mine

But then when I listened to it today again, I heard the latter part of the song louder:

Who’ll be reckless, just enough
Who’ll get hurt, but who learns how to toughen up
When she’s bruised and gets used by a man who can’t love
And then she’ll get stuck
And be scared of the life that’s inside her
Growing stronger each day ’til it finally reminds her
To fight just a little, to bring back the fire in her eyes
That’s been gone, but used to be mine

I never believed that time heals, it only dulls the pain by the day. Painful memories never go away, you just have to make new ones, good ones, happy ones, to pile on top. Happy Friday.

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