Is That a Thing? – Wax Play

Everytime I am about to write about some kinky stuff, I would go search my history and see whether I have already written about them. Here’s a fun fact about kink, everything feels different when done with different people. I definitely had done wax play before but not with Oliver before. Playing with hot candle wax might be one of the first things that came to my mind while I used to think about kink. I’m talking about the time when I haven’t done anything yet. But in practise, I do it rarely. Because wax is annoying to deal with when it gets everywhere.

But here we are, I got myself two large candles, one white and one pink and Oliver lighted them already at the beginning of the session so he got tons of ammo when it was time to use them. He tied me up, my wrists and legs together and I was lying on the floor on my back. I kinda remember there being a giant anal hook up my ass too. Although I knew the hot wax was coming, I still managed to be surprised when he started. And I really should have seen this coming… everything kinky Oliver sets out to try, he would always add an extra layer of sadism on them. He doesn’t really hold back or start gently. I guess it can be seen as him trusting me excessively and also how much I can take. I’ve only seen wax play in shibari shows, and they usually do just a few drops at a time with pauses in between. Oliver more like poured the wax on my torso, near my pussy and on my legs, like he was pouring hot oil onto a steak on a pan. And there were no pauses really, except when he changed candle after he exhausted the first one in record time. The pace was relentless and I screamed for him to go slowly and he kinda ‘agreed’ but it surely didn’t feel like he actually slowed down. XD Whenever the hot wax hit sensitive spots on my body like the sides of my torso, my breasts, my pussy, or the underneath of my arms, the pain was almost unbearable. The wax felt like red hot needles poking me all over and I went into panic mode again, the second time in the same session (first was with the coconut rope).

My skin felt raw and sensitive and the wax covering my body dried up quickly and became hard. I felt like I was cocooned in a shell and every little movement I made felt like I was stretching my skin to the extreme, second from cracking. And of course, I was made to move quite a bit and pieces of wax peeled from my skin and I felt like I was a snake shedding my skin.

I liked wax play with Oliver surprisingly lot, just as I adore everything that makes me go into a panic mode. Panic seems to be my new fave fetish and it is constantly hungry for more. Next week, I got a very interesting sexadventure story to tell you guys, something that happened on none other than Valentine’s Day, so stay tuned. Until then, stay kinky! 😉

The B in BDSM, part 7 – Coconut rope

Have you ever touched a coconut? This shriveled up looking little ball of coarse brown fur… Now imagine someone getting the bright idea of making rope out of that coarse brown fur, not knowing that some kinky people somewhere would come up with tying each other with that said rope. And thus, the coconut rope is born.

I’ve heard about this rope long time ago and I was absolutely sure that I don’t even want to be in the same room with it. You see, I don’t like prickly stuff that can hurt me. One of my bad habits is saying what I don’t like out loud without paying much attention to who is listening. It’s not the first time that habit of mine has turned and bit me in the ass, but I guess I never learned. So before Christmas, in a kinky ppl bar gathering, I once again complained loudly that no one should ever let Oliver, my adorable but sadistic friend with benefits, get his hands on coconut ropes. The same Oliver who introduced me to sadistic bondage. I was terrified about the mere idea of what he could do with coconut ropes. As it so happened, a fellow sadist heard my complaint and took it to heart. So for Christmas present to Oliver, that before mentioned sadist gifted him exactly that. It was terribly sweet of him… -.-

Long story short, I found myself on my living-room floor, already tied up with regular ropes so I can’t make a quick escape, and I was put face to face with the much-dreaded coconut rope. And yes, it was as terrible as I could ever imagine. I pride myself as someone who can take quite a lot of pain, but fear is my kryptonite. But I am not afraid of that many things. Except for sharp and prickly things, like the vampire gloves. And as it turns out, the coconut rope got the same effect on me, I somehow go into the panic mode as soon as Oliver started wrapping it around me. For me, the panic mode is ‘sweet spot’ where my expectation of the level of pain is somehow met and it’s the type of pain that I don’t like or never learned how to handle. The pain of spanking? That I can handle. Not gracefully whenever Oliver is doing to spanking, but still, I handle it. But whenever there’s something sharp, like sharp nails, vampire gloves, and this time, the unbearable sting of the coconut rope, I don’t even begin to know how to handle. I guess it’s the relentlessness of it, the pain was constant. When the rope enveloped my torso and breasts and waist, I froze up all of my muscles cos the tiniest movements would press the rope tighter against my skin and it hurt a lot. Oliver noticed my freezing up and told me to breathe deeper. I only partly obeyed, taking small shallow breaths. He wasn’t impressed at all, so he pressed the rope against my chest. The pain level rose sharply, forcing me take in deep gulps of air, my chest rising up and down in big motions, creating more pain and I found myself unable to calm my breathing. What a painfully vicious cycle of coconut ropes. 😛 The torture of the ropes was increased by some spanking and just my sheer fear of the rope getting too close to my very sensitive nipples.

Just with the vampire gloves, I have mixed feelings with the rope still. But while I was writing this, I got tons of scenarios in my head. Like how terrible it would be to be fucked while being tied up with that rope, getting a proper spanking in them, getting forced deep throat with it, getting water bondage in coconut ropes… just how terrible would that be? Sometimes, I think I give too much power to my masochist, that spoiled little thing. Fortunately, the first outing with the coconut rope didn’t last that long. There was other program on the menu for that particular session, but I have to talk about those next week. Until then, stay kinky! 😉

Cat In a Party

A couple of week’s ago at a monthly kinky, I did something quite special – I went in the role of a cat. On a collar and leash. With a cat sitter (Oliver). If you are new to my blog, that might not sound that special, albeit pretty kinky. But if you have been a long time reader, all of that might raise your eyebrow. I am not that big on pet play. But to my exDom, I was his kitten and I always felt safe in that role. After the break-up, the kitten in me died. I knew for a fact that I couldn’t ever be a kitten for anyone else. I never really quite mourned her passing, I had other things to worry about (or run away from). But since last year I truly started to go through the break-up like a grown-up, I started to miss my feline role. I was still sure that I can’t regain my kitten role ever again, but a thought pop into my mind – what if the kitten has grown up into a cat? A bratty cat that scratches and bites but also likes scratches and likes to be in the lap. The idea grew and grew and I decided that I wanted to do it. And as someone who tends to go a little extreme from time to time, I decided to go all the way.

I decided that I want to do it in public. Since I don’t panic when I am surrounded by lots of people. There was a very slight possibility that I would get bad flashbacks about my time as a kitten with my exDom, and in parties, I would less likely get panic attacks. Second, in addition to having a buttplug fluffy tail and cat-eye make-up, I was gonna go into the role more seriously and not talk at all. Which is very unlike me, cos I talk constantly. Third, I was going to be in a thick leather collar and a leash. I almost never wear collars even during play, cos collars use to be a big fucking deal for me. But just as my inner kitten, my exDom managed to ruin collars for me too. Ruin them in the sense that I probably can never take them seriously ever again. So I decided to be a good cat, and wear a collar and a leash. I recruited Oliver to be my cat sitter.

And here’s what I discovered: I really really love being in the role of a cat. I have my subspace when submitting, the sadist state when I’m hurting others, the top space and the masochist state. What I didn’t expect was to have a unique state of mind as a feline. I felt confident yet vulnerable at the same time, playful and bratty. Most surprising thing was I had a much easier time to just beg for intimacy from people I know. I loved getting scratches and pets and strokes on my hair. I love getting hugs and being held and lounged on people’s laps or rest my head on their thighs. Aka things that I probably wouldn’t know how to ask for when I’m being myself.

The not talking part was a hit and miss, I love chatting with people but also, I didn’t have to pay attention to anyone I didn’t want to. I am easily distracted and as a cat, I could be as distracted as I wanted to be and that was definitely a plus. I just need to find a nice balance here somehow.

I did love the collar and leash too, but it did something weird to me. For a few times, Oliver led me to the sofa at the party and there were people I didn’t know. And he would go get something like water. Usually I have no problem being by myself anywhere, but for some reason (maybe because of the role and the collar), I felt very vulnerable being by myself. Not unlike a pet being left alone by its hooman, even for a little bit of time. I wouldn’t go as far as saying that I felt unsafe, cos logically I was very safe at the party. But I did feel something that was very much like being scared. I became incredibly restless, and I think at both times, I took my leash between my teeth and ran away. After all, I wasn’t a dog who would stay in place just cos I was told to. A cat shouldn’t obey, right? 😛

So there were two pretty brutal spankings by the sadistic cat sitter, and I also found out that not getting to curse out loud was definitely a minus. XD It might also hurt the feelings of the said sadist, cos even though the spankings were brutally lovely, my favorite activity was actually getting choked by him pulling on the collar hard. I asked him to do it so hard that I would pass out, and he obliged. It was after the second spanking and I was still standing and slightly leaning against a spanking net made with thick ropes. I never remember the second when the lights go out, I would just casually regard that I’m losing the grip of my hand on the ropes. This time I actually dreamed of something. And slowly, I regained consciousness and it was like someone turning the volume of the world back on gradually. That feeling is really hard to describe but I adore it so much. It felt like literally minutes for me but according to Oliver, it was maybe like 5 seconds. He let go of the collar right when my grip on the ropes went limp. And just for that purpose only, I would love to wear the collar more often.

All in all, I would love to be a cat more often at parties. But I do wonder whether I would get into that same mindset without the collar, or without the leash, and without a cat sitter. And also I should definitely not do the not-talking thing. XD One time is enough I think. Especially when everything I tried to emote to Oliver, his first guess would always be ‘you want cock?’. XD Sadistic perv. All jokes aside, I am very grateful to him that he would indulge me this one party to somehow regain my feline side and also explore new possibilities. I might have lost many things during my journey, but I’m confident I will find new wonderful things in the future. Until the, stay kinky! 😉

Favorite Kinky Experiences 2019

Happy New Decade! 😀

This is going to be a short one, I’m just going to list ten of my favorite kinky experiences I had in the year 2019. It’s going to be pretty Oliver heavy since I met him in February and he is my primary kinky play partner this year. Let’s get on with it!

1. Revisiting double penetration – read more here.

2. Shibari – read more here, here and here. There is one more experience to add here that I didn’t have a chance to write yet and it was being tied up by someone else than Oliver and it was a semi-suspension. 😀 I promise I would write about the experience soon.

3. Casa Oliver aka my first time at Oliver’s place – read more here.

4. Water Bondage – read more here.

5. The Kidnapping – read more here.

6. The Threesome – read more here.

7. Vampire Gloves – read more here.

8. Revelations at parties – read more here. It was at Oliver’s second kinky house party that kinda triggered to do some much-needed self-reflection that led to some pretty intense epiphanies. It was all roses but it was necessary.

9. Spanking at the club. I don’t think I’ve written about this but it was one of the most intense and sadistic experiences I’ve ever had since I started BDSM. I have no idea what it was, but it was just spanking and vampire gloving by Oliver at the club, I think it was the first time that I was fully nude. He tied me up and the pain enveloped me from all over. Oliver’s sadist was fully out and he was glorious. But I guess the being in public aspect, also it was after the beginning of my struggles with not submitting mentally to him, and that we both kinda ignored proper aftercare, we both dropped after that public session. But it was because of it that I went ahead and created the ‘aftercare protocol’ below. The drop wasn’t fun but I don’t want the session to be tainted by what we both neglected to do. I want to remember it as one of my favorite sessions ever. It somehow made me more shameless.

10. Aftercare protocol – read more here.

Courtship Chronicles, part 12 – The Year 2019

So the year 2019 is coming to an end soon enough and it’s time to look back how my year was dating-wise. I do have to admit that I started with a bang. 😀 I was very hard-working and going on first dates quite frequently in the first half of the year. But then my mental health wasn’t doing so good in June and I got super lazy dating-wise. I did write down stuff on my calendar though and with that data, I created a nice infographic to sum it all up. 😀 Let’s go through it together!

So I was on 23 first dates, meeting almost two new people per month. Most were fun, some are weird and some went very well but no second dates. And since I’m not the type to run after anyone, they would fade out quite quickly. I do think that if the conversation doesn’t continue naturally and organically despite a great first date, then there must be not enough interest.

I had ten new partners this year, which means I had sex with ten new people. I had a long debate with several people what counts as sex, but in my humble opinion, my definition for myself is a new dick in my pussy, to put it crudely. A couple of them happens to be dildos attached to strap-ons but in all intent and purposes, it’s the same thing. Out of those ten, five of them were what I like to call ‘accidental one-night-stands’. Meaning I do not ever set out to have a one-night-stand, but sometimes after the first time, I simply don’t want a second time.

I didn’t keep track of how many people I chatted up but it never has gone far enough to set up a date. One guy ghosted me after the first date and I gave him a blowjob just cos I was being nice. Two were pretty flaky, as in they canceled on the day we were supposed to meet for coffee and didn’t make a real effort to re-schedule again. And two didn’t cancel at all, they simply didn’t show up for dates. I would never understand no-shows and ghosting, like what is the purpose of that? Oh well, onto more adventures.

Finally, I also tracked how many of the new people were kinky and how many nillas aka vanillas. Funny enough, most of those seven nillas do claim to be either kinky or even dominant. Well, they weren’t. 😀 And two out of those three kinksters were women and one guy. Yes, you guessed it, the one kinky guy is Oliver. You’ll know who he is if you’ve been following my blog. 😀

It’s the year 2020 next year. And I’m going to challenge myself and get 20 new partners. In other words, I want to double it! All just for fun and for that round number of 20. 😀 Cos, why not right. 😛 So, do expect more content as ‘Courtship Chronicle’ continues, stronger than ever. Until then, stay kinky! 😉