Things had changed since my last entry. I don’t have a Dom now, and since the beginning of the year I decided to put my submissive side to the backseat for a year, and concentrate on… well, everything else. I switched my ‘role’ from submissive to sadist on my Fetlife profile, just so that I won’t get unrequested messages from Doms looking for subs. I’ve spent some time to decide what sadism meant to me, and whether it’s tied to my submissive side. I’ve come to a conclusion that I am not a sexual sadist, as I might be a sexual masochist. As a matter of fact, I’m not even sure I’m a masochist, or is that just something that is part of my submission. Well, I might need to explore that part next year. But for now, my sadist side. I don’t get sexually turned on by hurting others, I just simply really love doing it.
I’ve been meaning to write about this for a while now, but my head was so otherwise occupied that I just couldn’t. But I have to get back on track somehow. So let’s do this.
So I live in Finland, Helsinki to be exact and it’s a small country. Despite the size, the kink community is rather vibrant and active, albeit small. So for the longest time, we don’t really have a place to call our own, our own club, our own living-room if you will. So I was very excited to learn about a new club being opened in Helsinki! I was nervous to attend a party but also decided it would be so exciting to be there at the grand opening. Maybe even historical! 😀
Here it is, as promised. ‘Confessions of a Spanko’ is one of the longest running series on this little blog of mine, but parts 1-9 were all about me taking the spanking. Part 10 is going to be a little special because it’s about me as the wielder, the one who did the spanking. As I mentioned on last week’s post, wielding the cane properly for the first time seemed to be the reason I finally awoke the sadist in me. I mean, it had always been in me, I’ve always had a special fondness in inflicting pain on willing participants, but the cane quickly became my weapon of choice. It was simply love at first spank.