Here it is, as promised. ‘Confessions of a Spanko’ is one of the longest running series on this little blog of mine, but parts 1-9 were all about me taking the spanking. Part 10 is going to be a little special because it’s about me as the wielder, the one who did the spanking. As I mentioned on last week’s post, wielding the cane properly for the first time seemed to be the reason I finally awoke the sadist in me. I mean, it had always been in me, I’ve always had a special fondness in inflicting pain on willing participants, but the cane quickly became my weapon of choice. It was simply love at first spank.
I don’t think I’ve talked about my sadist side much. I’m sure I’ve described her before as a tiny little sadist living inside of me. And I say little, cos like my masochist side, I don’t feel the need to feed it regularly. However, by little, I don’t mean I’m interested in causing only a wee bit of pain. 😀 I feel the need to explain this cos whenever I say that I have a little sadist living inside of me, Sir Atticus would scoff at it and tell me that it’s not exactly little. But I don’t think sadism or masochism work like that. There’s really no limit to how much pain a sadist would like to cause or a masochist would like to receive.
I am both a sexual masochist and a sadist, I get aroused from both aspects. Being a submissive is, however, still my most prominent sexual orientation and both my S and M are inseparable from D/s. Meaning I need to be submitting in order to get aroused from pain. My sadist basically works the same way, but it’s a little complicated than that. Cos I don’t really get off on being dominant. I do enjoy bossing around and I’m very good at it, but I don’t get sexual satisfaction from it. But I do get aroused from acts of sadism but in order to get off, I need to submit. And both my S and M side require a consenting partner. Especially on the S side, cos you know, beating others without their consent is kinda illegal. 😀 And since I’m only borderline psychopath, I don’t think I would enjoy hurting anyone not consenting. Much. 😉
On my birthday this year, I got two presents from Sir Atticus, one of them is a little toy in the form of a 23-year-old girl. Let’s call her Poppy, cos she reminds me of Vanellope from the movie ‘Wreck-it-Ralph’, full of energy and a force of nature. Sir promised me free reign (almost), I can do almost anything I want as long as I remain subservient to Him. Even though I remain under His command, He did give permission for Domme Kitten to come out to play. 😛