Blogmas 2023, Day 2 – Bookish resources

Blogmas day 2! Today, I want to introduce the channels and ways I get my books. I’m very excited about this first one.

Libby

Libby is definitely the best app I’ve found in the longest time and out of all the places I discovered it through a booktuber Elliot Brooks. It’s basically a library app that works worldwide. I used to use the library a lot when I was young and it kinda stopped when I was in college. I haven’t renewed my library card when they updated the system a couple of times. And this year was literally the first time I heard that you can borrow audiobooks and e-books from the library through Libby. I went to my local library to get a new library card and that day, my bookish world just got a whole lot bigger. Initially I was worried that there would only be mostly Finnish books since that’s where I live. And I don’t read in Finnish. But instead, Helsinki Library through Libby provides over 2000 English audiobooks and over 7000 English e-books from all genres. I was in love, I was obsessed. In addition to the enormous selection of both new and old books, Libby must be the best audiobook app I’ve ever used (better than Audiobook.com’s app and Audible). I was so happy to have found it cos I’ve canceled my audiobook subscriptions to save more money. So what are you waiting for? Go get a library card if you don’t already have one and get Libby! 😀

Illumicrate

I know I just mentioned that I canceled subscriptions to save money but there is one book subscription that I can’t make myself cancel – and that’s Illumicrate. I’m one of those who might get a book just because the cover is pretty. And Illumicrate produces the prettiest books I’ve ever seen. They also introduced to me authors I didn’t know before and I credit them to be the reason I’m more into fantasy now. In addition to their regular book-only box, I’m also subscribed to their horror-themed book-box and I’m loving it so far. I know there are many of these book subscription boxes out there, and I’m very jealous of those in the US who get to have the Book of the Month.

Kickstater Publishing

I must admit, I’m a recovering Kickstater addict. I used to be obsessed with backing random things on Kickstater, and there had been pleasant surprised and bitter disappointment. But one of the things I’m never disappointed with were books on Kickstater. Ever since the explosive success of Brandon Sanderson’s secret projects on Kickstater, an increasing number of authors had taken to the platform to get support for the version of their book that both the author and the fans truly deserve. One of the best collaborators is Wraithmarked Creative, which focuses on fantasy books. I got my copy of ‘The Sword of Kaigen” through a Wraithmarked Creative Kickstater project and I couldn’t be happier. By the time I’ve got to know the story through audiobooks, I couldn’t find a copy of the physical book anymore, less alone a special hardcover edition perfect for collecting since it has become one of my favorite books of all time.

There they are. How I mainly get my books. I don’t buy books that much anymore, maybe a couple of times per year and I mostly get them from an online store called Adlibris since the selection of English books in stores in Finland is not that big. That’s it for today. Merry Blogmas! 😀

The Man of My Dreams

You would think that after posting 25 days in a row, you wouldn’t hear from me until next year! Well, I’m already on a roll! I still have several posts planned before the year 2018 is out. The post today is actually my initial plan for the advent calendar. I know, a much more boring version than the kinky advent calendar. As you may remember, I was supposed to remain single and in celibate till the end of this year, so already at the beginning of the year, I wanted to write down 25 characteristics or personality traits that I am attracted to in a partner. Of course, it’s all done in a light-hearted way. And like two months ago I decided to instead post the kinky version of the advent calendar. But my ‘list’ of 25 dream man traits is already all gathered so I guess I might as well share it. So here they are, not in any particular order.

1. High energy – just like me. I’ve accepted the fact that I’m always a little tired cos I don’t have enough time to sleep (6-7 hours most nights). But I never let it slow me down one bit. In fact, the more sleep deprived I am, the more energetic I might seem cos I guess extreme tiredness unlocks an extra energy pack inside of me or something. 😀 I hardly ever cancel plans or not do something just because I’m a little tired. So I want my partner to be the same.
2. Goofy. Fingers crossed, I hope I will never lose the kid in me and I will always be able to be silly and goof around. I don’t take myself too seriously, so I hope my partner in crime is the same. People who are too serious and ‘adult’ bore me.
3. Romantic and sweet. As in doing little things and never get tired of working for silly surprises. I consider myself the same.
4. Curious. Curious mind who would never stop wondering about things they don’t know and not afraid to admit that they don’t know. Someone who never want to stop learning new things or skills.
5. Optimistic.
   
   Cynical people are a turnoff. We all been through some shit. And it’s those come out the other side with a certain optimism still intact, those who take the punches that life gives them with a smile on their faces, those are my people.
6. Polyamorous. Since I’m poly, it starts to get harder and harder to imagine myself with someone who isn’t.
7. Confident – borderline arrogant. In my opinion, arrogance can also be quite sexy if they really have the goods to back it up. As in ‘I know I’m good and I like to flaunt it’.
8. Affectionate – I enjoy physical contact, I like PDA. As touch is one of my love languages.
9. In-tune with themselves and their own feelings. As I constantly learning about myself, I like people who do the same. Getting to know yourself should be the priority for everyone.
10. Generous. I don’t like men who nit-picks. I’m very generous with my time, attention or even money when it comes to someone I like, so I like partners who are generous too.
11. Adventurous. I like people who aren’t afraid of the unknown, most importantly with food as I am a foodie.
12. Passionate. Not just in the sexual sense, I just like people who are passionate about something. For me it’s movies and books, stories in general.
13. Extroverted. For some reason, I’ve only dated introverted men, for some reason they are attracted to my extremely extroverted personality. Guess they are drawn to my energy. But I like to keep my energy to myself, I like to bounce it off on other high-energy people so I’m quite determined that the next person I date is going to be an extrovert.
14. Open. I don’t like to be guessing what’s going on.
15. Good. And nice. Often under-appreciated qualities but I consider them to be important.
16. Honest. No one likes secrets.
17. Nerdy. Whether it be games, movies, books, comics, etc., only nerds would get the periodical craziness I get into from time to time about different things and people.
18. Primal. Or a playful kind of dominant.
    
19. Funny. I like people who make me laugh. Sarcastic and dark sense of humor would match me well.
20. Strong. Mental and physical. Strength is a characteristic that I adore the most in people.
21. Kinky as fuck. As in ready to try anything at least once. The kinky world is still full of wonders to explore.
22. Let me be me. Take me as I am. Someone that I don’t need to censor myself in front of.
23. Match my light, match my darkness. Getting a little deep here, but I have my sunny side and my dark sides. I want someone who can match me in both of those extremes.
24. Make me a better person. This is something I started to appreciate more the older I get. I know my own weaknesses like I can be a nicer person, a stronger person, have more self-control and self-discipline. So I want someone who is also striving to be those things or is already there. I want someone who inspires me to become the best version of myself.
25. Let me love them more. This is the oddest one I guess. I know many people who want their partners to love them more than they love them, but ever since I knew what love was, I’ve always wanted to be with someone that I can love more than they love me. I know I know, love is hard to measure but I guess I just would know when I’m in it.

Here’s the silly list. I can list as many as I like, but in the end, it’s what I feel that matters in the end. Of course, I’m attracted to people with characteristics I listed above, but I think it’s just something unknown (chemicals or divine intervention and shit) that would make me feel something more than general affection. Things above are those that would make me like someone a lot, but it’s always going to remain a complete mystery to me what are the components that make me fall in love with someone. I will be sure to let you guys know if I ever find out. Maybe I will fall in love next year. 😛 Until then, stay kinky! 😉

Day 25 of the Kinky Advent Calendar 2018

Day 25 – Cock Drunk
Primal

 

Merry Christmas and a warm welcome to the final day of the kinky advent calendar 2018! Through these 25 days, I hope you got an idea of what sadism and primal means to me. My ultimate fetish, the one that really matters, a true fetish as I don’t think I can be fully sexually satisfied without feeding this certain hunger on a regular basis. The other kind of sex, sure it can be fun to have once in a while, just like junk food. But this is what give the much-needed nutrients to the sexual being inside of me – and that is getting cock drunk. I guess just by saying primal sex, it’s going to be hard to explain, and it is a bit different for different primals anyways. So I think the term ‘cock drunk’ might be easier to explain.

I first heard it being used by a porn star being interviewed and she was talking about her favorite scene where she got completely cock drunk. She didn’t exactly explain what it meant but I understood what she meant immediately and thoroughly. It’s having your brains fucked out, it’s fucking so intense that you have trouble thinking, or in my case even seeing clearly. I would be utterly consumed by the sensations of a cock going in and out of me, vaginal or anal or both but most likely through vaginal sex. Just because I loooooove when a cock hits my cervix. Sometimes I would get shivers through my whole body, sometimes I get goosebumps all over. When it gets really really good, I would shake uncontrollably. I moan a lot and quite loud (so I’m told) and sometimes when it is mixed with a certain amount of pain, my moan would turn guttural or even growls. My mind kinda empties out and my whole existence is pure pleasure. I’ve heard people describing orgasms feeling like this, but orgasms are only max 30 seconds while feeling cock drunk can last for tens of minutes. I’m actually glad that I don’t orgasm easily through vaginal intercourse, because getting an orgasm would prevent from this kind of sex to continuing as I would be way too sensitive to fuck that rough.

There are also few signs that the sex made me completely cock drunk. Cos the aftermath can be uncontrollable twitching as the residue of the intense fucking course through me and kinda hits my core in waves of post-pleasure. I actually love that feeling. I would get so cold, as in teeth-chattering cold even indoors. I do also get drowsy af, and a nap sounds the best thing in the world right about then. Sometimes I wonder whether I feel more strongly than some people when it comes to fucking and that’s why I’m addicted to it and literally can’t live without it.

That is it for the Kinky Advent Calendar of 2018, thanks for sticking with me for the ride. Here’s to a great year of kink and hope the next one is going to be just as colorful! Until then, stay kinky! 😉

Day 24 of the Kinky Advent Calendar 2018

Day 24 – Being Used
Primal

 

Here’s the thing, I know that for some the fetish of being used might slightly differ from mine. Some like it rough and used and then tossed out basically by strangers, sometimes the stranger aspect being the key to the thrill. Just like humiliation, it took me quite a while to admit to myself that I also enjoy being used, but I also need the connection with someone first. I probably wouldn’t mind the first kind of being used that much, I probably would just shrug it off but I personally don’t see the appeal in it. In my opinion, my partner needs to know me and my body and mind somewhat well before their usage of me feels arousing. Basically, I enjoy the certain level of selfishness of the other person. I like to be taken and used for his pleasure, him not paying much attention to my own pleasure, and that’s when I feel the most satisfaction.

Sometimes there can be discomfort, like him spreading my thighs so wide the stretching gets uncomfortable but because he takes greater pleasure in exposing me that much, I love the discomfort. Sometimes there can also be pain, like anal sex for example. Anal sex is also going to be painful for me especially in the beginning, but if the other person is timid and unsure or scared to hurt me, it’s not going to happen, I would be too turned off to enjoy it at all. But when the other person is determined and trusting that I can take it or if I can’t I would say so out loud, it’s knowing that it is going to hurt me but also knowing that I’m more than willing to take it so we would both get to the stage of intense pleasure.

In many senses, it is mutual usage. The balance can be delicate. I don’t like to be mentally used, I don’t like my feelings or emotions being toyed with dishonesty or mindfuckery that I haven’t consented to. As the old saying go, I don’t want to be just a slut for you, I want to be your slut for you. I can play rough and dirty and messy, but I’m too protective of myself to let someone play with me who would not clean the mess with me afterwards. You break it, you put it back together. 😛 All the fun, none of the drama. Stay tuned for one more day!

Tomorrow on Christmas Day, something that intoxicates me, on Day 25 of the Kinky Advent Calendar 2018. 😉

Day 23 of the Kinky Advent Calendar 2018

Day 23 – Struggle Play
Primal

After a tiny sadist marathon, we are back with the primal. There are many names to this particular fetish that’s close to my heart, but I would settle on the rather politically correct term ‘struggle play’. As I mentioned many times before, for me primal is all about the physical submission. I like to be made to submit physically. I like to fight back, I like to wrestle, I like to scratch, bite, aggravate and challenge. I like to be physically held down, and since I can take a lot of pain and pain turns me on in the right circumstances, I like to just go for it. And that is when I need a special kind of partner for these kinds of games, either a primal or a dom who likes to have some fun. Although I have to admit, sometimes it can turn into a mental power struggle and since I was so well-trained as a sub, I give up rather quickly. That’s why it is more fun to play with primals where the struggle stays physical and it is that way a lot more enjoyable for me, and way more fun.

Tomorrow on Christmas Eve, something that makes me feel useful, on Day 24 of the Kinky Advent Calendar 2018. 😉