Kinky Dungeon · Survival Guide

Kinky Sex Survival Guide – Level 3

Welcome back to the Kinky Sex Survival Guide! We are already at level three! If you just stumbled upon this little kinky guide, do check level one and two out first. In my opinion, level three might be the invisible line that if crossed, it would officially make you and your partner kinksters. Yes, you will then receive kinkster pin in the mail and a magical tattoo would appear on your forehead that says kinky that only other kinky people can see. XD That would actually be super cool. 😛 Remember the things you learned from the first two levels when you try the following ten new things. All of them involve practice to get it right, and some of them can be dangerous if done carelessly so again, do talk about these with your partner before attempting any of these and start slow and observe how it to feel both to give and receive. Remember, the three mottos of any kinky business is safe, sane and consensual. Enough lecturing, let’s get dirty. 😉

1. Breath Play
Kuvahaun tulos haulle breathplayBreath play aka anything that has to do with getting and giving sexual pleasure from asphyxiation. There are many methods, choking with the hand being the most popular and my favorite. You might think that choking someone is pretty straight-forward and it probably is, if you are looking for killing someone by choking them that is. This can potentially be very very dangerous. The neck is incredibly fragile. Choke might actually be a very poor word for it, because the thing you want to do is NOT applied pressure on your partner’s whole neck, especially not on the windpipe (which is in the front. Especially if you want to have sex at the time and you are on top, DO NOT lean your weight on your partner’s neck! If you are doing it when you’re on top, prop yourself up with your other hand. Apply slight pressure, squeezing lightly on both sides of the neck using your thumb and index+middle fingers. This way it will block the air-way almost completely, giving some pretty intense pleasure from lack of oxygen without hurting the neck. There are very long and thorough guides online, like the Dominant Guide and Danger and Play. Safety first, boys and girls. And if the lady of the relationship is the choker and the man is the chokee, pay attention to the Adam’s Apple too. And of course, there are many other ways to choke, there’s the belt of the neck but one should pay attention to the belt buckle cos if you are tightening it up around the neck from the buckle, it can easily leave little bruises on the delicate skin. And if you are using the belt, NEVER lock it around. When dealing with anything breath play, safety measures had to be taken, the most important one being that you can release your partner in an instant. And when you don’t know how sensitive your partner is towards asphyxiation, like how easily he or she would for example get dizzy or faint, give him or her keys or something that makes noise to hold, as the safeword because it might get a little bit hard to utter out loud the verbal safeword. And if your partner drops the keys/bells, that’s probably a sign to stop immediately and take care of your partner. Again, stay safe and enjoy! 😉

2. Wax Play
Kuvahaun tulos haulle wax playAh candle wax, while might sound pretty intense, isn’t actually that bad judging from the pain level. It doesn’t hurt much. On my first time we used regular candles and I didn’t think it hurt that much, but turned out that there are such things as wax play candles. You can probably found them online or any sex stores. I’ve heard that they hurt way less cos they burn in a lower temperature. If you’re new with wax play and pain is not usually your thing, start from ‘tough’ places, like the back or ass. Breasts can be sensitive, especially around the nipple area and of course, the next level would be wax play on super sensitive places like the genitals. If pain on your most precious parts isn’t tempting, just stay on the back. Wax play is pretty sexy and romantic and just enough pain to make it quite interesting and exciting. I find it very fun, because the anticipation and expectation of the pain feels way more than the actual impact of the wax hitting sensitive skin. I don’t have to tell you to always be mindful when playing with fire, right? Good. 🙂

3. Spanking – long instruments
Kuvahaun tulos haulle riding crop bdsmTime to move on to the fun instruments. While the elegant riding crop is not my ultimate favorite to receive anymore, it still remains my favorite to use. While shorter instruments like paddles or belts are easier to control, long instruments like crops, long floggers, canes, whips etc. require some training. Target training that is, because hitting the spot you intended to is very important, especially when you are doing other body parts than the bottom. You can also find tons of guide online for each and every spanking instrument, and also here in my blog, so I’m not going to into details about them. Just a word about crops. Don’t waste your money with super expensive ones from sex shops, visit a pet shop or sport store and get yourself a durable and inexpensive genuine riding crop meant for horses. They might not be as pretty, but at least they are well-balanced and made for usage aka spanking and not just for show. I especially recommend crops for the ladies. Because we look pretty bad-ass while wielding a crop, and super sexy too. Plus crops create beautiful sounds with the slightest force and they are very good for those that don’t possess that much arm strength. With practice, you can make it hurt quite a bit with just a little flick of your wrist. 😛

4. Bondage – rope and duct tape
Kuvahaun tulos haulle bondage duct tapeOnce we get comfortable with the idea of being tied up, it’s time to move on to the more durable bondage equipment. My personal favorites are ropes and duct tape. You can found good rope pretty much in any hardware store or crafting shops. Or if you are looking for something very durable, visit a mountain climbing shop for ropes. Ropes of course requires some learning, like how to do different kinds of knots and how to most efficiently tie up someone safely. There are plenty of instruction videos even on Youtube, about the art of the rope and also safety measures like how not to cut off any blood flow, cos trust me, it hurts a lot when that happen (had a bad experience once with an one time session partner). And ropes aren’t exactly easy or quick to undo so it might not be instantaneous pain release. They do sell bondage scissors for emergencies. I recommend investing on bondage scissors especially if you want to use duct tape. I personally love duct tape for bondage, but they are going to leave marks on sensitive places such as wrists. Also, if you want to use duct tape as a gag, remember to suck in your lips before placing the tape so that the tape is not actually sticking to your lips because there might be a chance you are going to rip off some skin from your lips upon removal. Plus duct tape can easily cut off the blood flow so do not wind the tape too tight around any limbs.

5. Whole body bondage
Kuvahaun tulos haulle whole body bondageLet’s continue with the bondage theme, and once you’ve built the trust when it comes to being immobile, the whole body bondage might be the next step. Any rope bunnies can tell you just how magical being completely tied can feel like. Plus the Japanese rope bondage style, aka shibari, can be so breathtakingly beautiful. I’m lucky enough to have a Dominant who likes to play with ropes and I get to enjoy the unique sensations and pleasures of whole body bondage. I would imagine that for some it might be claustrophobic, being rendered absolutely immobile, but for me, and I think it’s safe to say that for many who enjoy bondage might tell you, it actually feels oddly freeing. It’s almost like meditating or yoga, it’s a very relaxing thing.

6. Dirty talking – hard
Aiheeseen liittyvä kuvaDirty talking – hardcore version is next. It’s time to try throwing some commands in there, along with crude or even rude words like curse words, especially if you don’t use them normally. I wouldn’t go with any name-calling yet, unless it’s something you both agree upon that it’s okay. Most times, the tone of the voice counts, it can either be with an almost aggressive voice saying something simple like ‘ride me hard’ or ‘suck on that cock’, or it can be something extremely dirty but said in an almost matter-of-fact kind of voice. My Dom likes very much to use the latter and His dirty statements with a monotone voice that indicates that He is definitely not asking for my permission or whether I would like it or not, it’s already a well-established fact that He can do whatever He desires to me and there is a very high possibility that I would like whatever it is. 😛

7. Collar and Leash
Kuvahaun tulos haulle collar and leash bdsmCollars are beautiful things, and collars with a leash would be the first kinky thing that might not be for all kinksters and might lean towards the Dominant/submissive categories. D/s is not the only dynamic you can have, it’s just one of the many. But collar and leash is a simple and easy way to test whether you are into the D/s kind of kinky sex. If the leash is a bit too much in the beginning, you can start from collars. It can also be a symbolic thing, the collar, if you want to keep your kinkiness inside the bedroom. So collars can be used to represent the beginning of the kinky sexy times and taking off the collar indicating the end of the kinky sex time. Collars and leashes are very convenient during sex too. You can use it to control blowjobs and help your partner to arch the back during doggy-style. 😛 And of course, for the next thing on this list.

8. Kneeling and Crawling
Aiheeseen liittyvä kuvaAnother poke on the ice whether you are into a Dom/sub relationship. Kneeling by His side is one of my favorite things and crawling to or after Him would turn me on immensely. There is a little aspect of humiliation in this, and it’s about time to test that one out too whether you are into it or not. Of course, the testing goes both ways. Just like not everyone likes to kneel or crawl towards or beside one’s partner, not everyone likes to watch one’s partner do all that either. Kneeling and crawling might look easy enough, but it hurts the knees quite a bit. So either do it on a soft surface or have a pillow for longer period kneelings (like giving a blowjob).

9. Rimming
Kuvahaun tulos haulle rimmingRimming aka licking and sucking and tongueing someone’s asshole and/or the area around it. I personally love doing it and also receiving it. It does require utmost hygiene, probably not a good idea to do it right after a workout or something. XD Including rimming to your oral sex routine just might rock your partner’s world, because it really does feel very very good. And if you are doing it for a man, do not forget to tease the area between the asshole and the balls because it’s very sensitive too.

10. Anal Play
Kuvahaun tulos haulle anal playAh, the conquering of the other hole. I’ve written tons of posts on this blog about the subject. I especially recommend the anal survival guide and also the enema guide. They both offers some tips of how to prepare for a pleasant and clean anal experience and also, with time and practice, also a pleasurable one. I mean, I wasn’t a natural born anal lover. In fact, I used to hate anal sex. But I did my training and learn to first do it and then to love it. And anal play can also involve so many aspects other than the straight-forward anal sex. Like beautiful jeweled anal plugs, some are so tiny that you probably wouldn’t need any training to put one in. And don’t be afraid of the word ‘training’, not everyone needs it, at least an as thorough one as I did. 😛 But anal is not something I recommend of trying cold feet, cos a bad anal experience can be very traumatizing and strongly discourage to experiment any further.

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Now, after these ten things, you are already quite kinky! 😀 There is one more level next week during which we are going to dive into the realm of humiliation and really go that D/s direction, so stay tuned! Until then, stay kinky! 😉

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