Ten More Things I Love About Myself

Thus continues the theme of the month about self-improvement and self-love. And this week, it’s all about self-love. When I was planning this particular post, to my absolute delight I found out that I actually wrote a list of ‘Ten Things I Love About Myself‘ over two years ago. 😀 I guess I do love myself a lot. 😛 So here we go, ten more things I love about myself.

1. Honest

A lot of traits in my personality boils down to one sentence: I don’t give a fuck. As in I don’t give enough fucks to lie for whatever reasons. I’m the only child, I’m a master liar cos that was how I survived my childhood with Asian parents. But the older I get, the less I found myself caring enough to lie. It’s exhausting. So I’m just gonna be honest most of the time. I’m not tackless though. I don’t go out of my way to be mean and tell people things that would hurt them (even though it’s the truth), unless they ask me directly. I’m not that good at sugar-coating anything. But the one thing about honesty that I am proud of is that I strive to be honest to myself and with myself. It’s the hardest thing but I try my best. Cos in the end, that’s what matters the most.

2. Precise

Some might call it nip-picking but I am very precise in many things in life, I got my own ways of doing things. However, I don’t like to force my ways on others, so I mostly end up taking care of things by myself. A bit OCD, but that’s what living alone for a while can do to ya, you learn how you like things done.

3. Affectionate

It’s a constant work in progress. I don’t get stressed or anxious about many things but showing and asking for affection is one of the biggest of the reasons that cause me endless anxiety. I am a very affectionate person deep down, but it’s buried so deep that often I have a hard time to force it out. And make no mistake, it is forcing. Cos otherwise the affectionate part of me would stay buried and never see the light of day and I would get really sad. I wish I can be as affectionate with everyone as I really want to be deep down. I guess admitting to myself just how affectionate I am is the first step.

4. Caring

I do love taking care of others. I guess it is one of those good things I inherited from my Asian side. I like to feed people I like, I like to make sure they have all they need when they are in my care. I might not be the type that I ask you how you are doing all the time, I’m more like the type that you know would make you chicken soup if you are sick and you have no one else to take care of you. And you would know that all you need to do is ask and I’ll be there. Of course, that only applies to my friends and those I like.

5. Changeable 

I do love my willingness to change myself. I don’t like seeing myself as a done project, I like to see myself as ever-evolving. Change can be scary sometimes but it is also very exciting. I love learning about myself and if I discover something that I’m not that fond of, then I won’t hesitate to try and change it. But more about this next week. 🙂

6. Accepting

On the other side of the scale, I am pretty accepting of those things that I can’t change. Namely other people. It’s not that I don’t believe that people can change, I know for a fact that it is possible, but I just don’t expect it. I don’t wait for it. And I never ever ask for it. Change can be a beautiful thing but it’s not a requirement. I never lay conditions on people I let close, like ‘you would be great if only you are this and that’. If I don’t like them as they are, then I don’t like them.

7. Organized

It is one of my defining characteristics. Well I am a secretary, can’t be a very good one if I’m not organized. I’ve also been getting better at actually sticking through my plans too.

8. Determined

Sometimes it takes a while for me to decide on something, but once that decision is made, you bet your ass I’m going to make it. No matter how long it would take me. So I guess it’s a good thing that I don’t make decisions lightly. Just like promises, I don’t promise anything unless I’m sure I’m going to do it.

9. Challengable

I love a good challenge and I do love to do that all the time. My favorite person to challenge is of couse myself! Just you wait, next year is going to be full of fun challenges!

10. Tenacious

Just like in one of my favorite Shawn Mendes song, giving up is not in my blood. I hate the feeling of not giving it my all before letting go. That’s usually the part I’m going to regret if I ever give up too early. I find it hard to forgive myself in a sense so I would try anything to avoid that feeling.

There they are. Ten more things I love about myself. Next week, I would list ten things I would like to improve about myself. 🙂 Hope you had a relaxing weekend!

10 Unexpected Gains After I Walked 10K Steps Daily For a Month

On 28th May I began walking 10K steps minimum daily. It was something I was determined to make into a new habit of mine. One month went by without me even noticing although I’ve noticed many changes in my body and life in general in mere 30 days and some of them were very unexpected. Here’re ten things I did not expect to happen when I started walking 10K steps a day.

How I Give Head – 10 Tips For Better Oral Sex

There is this free newspaper called City in Helsinki, Finland, it’s more about what’s in now and it likes to think about itself as a little risque. Yesterday, it published an article, written by a woman, the title is exactly the one that’s the title of this post. I didn’t expect anything new but I really did not expect it to be that… bad. So I decided to write a reaction piece to that. And since it’s pretty short, I translated it from Finnish (translation written in italic), and then put my two cents underneath them – tips from a kinky girl for better oral sex. Let’s go, pervs, let’s go have some fun!

1. It’s not mandatory 
Remember, you don’t owe anyone anything. If your partner demands blowjobs, step on the break. Pressing matters shouldn’t be part of sex.

Well, of course not. But the title does say tips for having better oral sex. I don’t see how not giving head is the way to better oral sex. If giving blowjobs is wrong, I don’t want to be right. And for many of us who are into Dominant/submissive relationships, blowjobs and oral sex are one of the most common rewards a submissive gets from his/her Dom. It’s never a choir, it’s a privilege and truly a reward to get to be the one giving the pleasure for someone you really like. I’m not saying that all relationships need to be dominant and subservient, but don’t vanilla relationships also gain something by just doing a very pleasurable deed for something you really care about?

Submission on a Break – How to Survive the Down Time

I’ve written about sub drops before. It’s this depression-like state that’s basically an endorphin crash that might occur after a particularly rough session. If you are interested in that topic, I’ve actually written a little survival guide about sub drops, you can read it here. But today I’m here to talk about the down time, when submission is on a break, at least the physical kind. An observant reader of this blog might have noticed that there had been less writings on kinky Wednesdays lately. Of course, I’ve been busy with restaurant work and such to have any mood to write anything, but it has been going on longer than that. I believe these so-called down time are not unusual with 24/7 D/s relationships. Reasons can be many, in my case it’s Sir Atticus having job related things on His mind or otherwise just not in the mood. One of the challenges of a D/s relationship is that one has to be in a certain headspace to commit, especially the one in the dominating role. A distracted Dominant is just bad news. I guess it’s equally possible for submissives to have off periods when submission doesn’t come naturally, work stress being one of them. Personally I have such a special relationship with submission that I can’t really see myself ever not be in the mood mentally. Physically sure, when I’m having a migraine or a high fever. I’m not the kind to stress about work, I might dread it but not stress about it that much. And when it comes to stress releasing, nothing quite beats a good spanking. 😛 In other words, for me submission is a cure for almost anything.

So, what are the symptoms of the down time? I would get restless, irritated at everything and everyone, lazy, bratty, mood-swingy, self-conscious, self-doubting, paranoid… just overall a shittier version of my usual self. I strongly dislike myself when I get like that, like today was such a day that those symptoms bugged the hell out of me. I decided to build a system to fight those negative symptoms because I’m all for constant self-development. 😛 And I hope it would be helpful for my fellow subbies too, and why not my other readers who get those same ‘symptoms’ from entirely different reasons.  The big theme here is distraction. Here’s my top 10 how to survive down time:

Top 10 WTF things of Hentai

Hello and welcome to Kinky Wednesday. 🙂 Sir Atticus and I have a 24/7 Dominant/submissive relationship, but it’s less intense that you might imagine. I do have a couple of tasks to keep me in check during the week, like exercising and some kind of orgasm and masturbation control. Lately it had been edging every way. I was to edge aka masturbate till I almost climax then pull back and I had to do it three times every day. And I’m one of those who watch porn when I masturbate (how I envy the younger me for whom only naughty imagination was enough). So edging daily also meant watching a LOT of porn. And I have different phases when it comes to porn and it had been my hentai phase for a while now. I don’t usually look for any certain kind of hentai porn,

Hentai – which literally means weird and strange things is also known to be pornographic Japanese animation. Also known as the infamous tentacle porn. But that’s just one little sub-genre of hentai. I don’t usually look for any certain kind of hentai porn, I actually quite enjoy the fact that hentai can surprise the shit out of me by being so so weird, even when I’m not looking for it. And because the recent bountiful consumption of hentai, I started to notice some reoccurring what-the-fuck things that obviously seem to tickle Japanese people’s fancy. So here I am, listing ten WTF things that you would run into when watching hentai. And I left out some obvious sub-genres out like above mentioned tentacle porn, or anything goru (meaning combining hardcore gore and sex). I gathered these characteristic from so-called normal hentai episodes. I mean, if you could ever called hentai normal. 😀

1. Iku! Iku! (I’m cumming)

No matter how unwillingly the girl succumb to sex (consent, or the lack thereof, is one of the big things in hentai, or any Japanese porn), she would end up climaxing anyway. I don’t think Japanese have any idea of how female orgasms work. There might be a small percentage of kinksters out there who would get extremely aroused from being forced upon, but that’s definitely rare. So making it as it’s an everyday thing, to get off on being raped, and having that theme in almost every hentai clip, it does earn a spot in this list, cos it’s truly quite twisted.