I’ve written about sub drops before. It’s this depression-like state that’s basically an endorphin crash that might occur after a particularly rough session. If you are interested in that topic, I’ve actually written a little survival guide about sub drops, you can read it here. But today I’m here to talk about the down time, when submission is on a break, at least the physical kind. An observant reader of this blog might have noticed that there had been less writings on kinky Wednesdays lately. Of course, I’ve been busy with restaurant work and such to have any mood to write anything, but it has been going on longer than that. I believe these so-called down time are not unusual with 24/7 D/s relationships. Reasons can be many, in my case it’s Sir Atticus having job related things on His mind or otherwise just not in the mood. One of the challenges of a D/s relationship is that one has to be in a certain headspace to commit, especially the one in the dominating role. A distracted Dominant is just bad news. I guess it’s equally possible for submissives to have off periods when submission doesn’t come naturally, work stress being one of them. Personally I have such a special relationship with submission that I can’t really see myself ever not be in the mood mentally. Physically sure, when I’m having a migraine or a high fever. I’m not the kind to stress about work, I might dread it but not stress about it that much. And when it comes to stress releasing, nothing quite beats a good spanking. 😛 In other words, for me submission is a cure for almost anything.
So, what are the symptoms of the down time? I would get restless, irritated at everything and everyone, lazy, bratty, mood-swingy, self-conscious, self-doubting, paranoid… just overall a shittier version of my usual self. I strongly dislike myself when I get like that, like today was such a day that those symptoms bugged the hell out of me. I decided to build a system to fight those negative symptoms because I’m all for constant self-development. 😛 And I hope it would be helpful for my fellow subbies too, and why not my other readers who get those same ‘symptoms’ from entirely different reasons. The big theme here is distraction. Here’s my top 10 how to survive down time:
1. Working out. I know I know, lame. But I don’t care even it’s lame. If you don’t have the habit of working out, start one. You don’t have to go to a gym, there are tons of free workout videos on Youtube. Or just go out and run if you are into that. And if working out is already part of your life, intensify it. Give it your all. Do the most challenging version of your work out. Do push-ups off of your feet instead of knees. Get down and do those fucking burpees. Working out HARD is the best medicine for restlessness. And getting into shape and/or losing some weight are just side effects, the best side effect you could hope for.
2. Eat healthy. I know, I’m so lame today, right? 😀 Food is actually how I know whether I’m sub droppy or just on down time. When I’m droppy, I want comfort food aka unhealthy food, something sweet. When I’m down timey, I lose my appetite for junk food. The mere thought of something like pizza would turn my stomach. So in those time, I would take time to plan, grocery shop, cook and eat my meals. Wholesome, healthy food makes me feel better about myself both physically and mentally. Trust me, you do not want to be self-conscious and bloated from carbs and sugar at the same time.
3. Write about it. Write down how you feel, why you think you are feeling it and how you want to fix it. Maybe write one of these top 10 list according to your preferences. Write it on a blog if you have one, or start one. Write it in a journal. Heck, you can even write it on post it notes. Writing often helps me think things through and I can see everything more clearly after I try to put it in writing form. I can’t even begin to count how many times this little blog of mine had saved me from getting stuck in emotional black holes.
4. Watch feel-good movies or TV shows. As exciting as shows like Game of Thrones or Walking Dead are, they might get pretty gritty and dark. During down time, choose something silly that would leave you feeling hopeful. I highly recommend almost anything from Studio Ghibli, those movies would heal your soul. Any movie with dogs (not the talking ones though), I mean movies like ‘A Dog’s Purpose’, ‘Max’ and the crown jewel of dog movies ‘Hachiko’. Or cat movies like ‘A Street Cat Named Bob’. Actually, I should just write a completely separate post about feel-good movies and TV shows later this or next week. Stay tuned. 🙂
5. Read. Anything, everything. Just immerse yourself into a completely different world. Just choose something exciting and engaging.
6. Learn something new. Doesn’t need to be anything big. It can be a new recipe. Or a skill like doing sudokus. Or even a new slang like truffle butter. I heard it from a TV show, and that one should never google it. Of course that’s the cue for googling. I bet you are googling it right now. Just please, don’t google pictures. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya. XD
7. Be productive. Think small. Clean the floors, wash the dishes, fix the lose screw in your chair. Keeping your leaving space in check would gain you some sense of control. I did my budget today and it felt great.
8. Be social. I know that one can easily turn into a hermit during down time, since everyone seems to irritate the living daylight out of you. But it’s just the side effect of missing someone (your Dom) or something (submission). Keep the irritation at bay and go have coffee with a friend and have him/her completely distract you. Or you can even call your mom/dad/siblings. Talking nonsense or gossiping about anything will make you feel better.
9. Take some me time. Take care of yourself. I mean physically. Take a long bath, moisturize, floss thoroughly, pluck your eyebrows, drink water. During down time, time itself would move slower than usual. So take this chance to pamper yourself.
10. Take selfies. I know, this might sound weird. This might also be the only one on the list that targets submissives particularly. Your Dom might be crazy busy with work or be too distracted or too stressed or simply just not in the mood. Since you got the time, and you’ve done all of the above, then take time to take some selfies (sexy/cute/entertaining), if nothing else then just to put a smile on your Dom’s face momentarily. 🙂 After all, being patient and supportive to your Dom is what every good subbie should strive for.
That’s it for kinky Wednesday. Sorry for all the cat photos. 😀 It’s just that Sir Atticus calls me kitten, so they seemed appropriate. 😛 Writing this might just have helped me more than it helped anyone else, so I should thank you, my reader, for swinging by. Let’s see what I come up with next kinky Wednesday. Until then, stay kinky! 😉