I have briefly written about the importance of punishments earlier in D/s relationships. If it was long time since the last session with Sir Sade, then the last punishment was longer away still. The group session couple of weeks ago was super fun, but it was the first session that I had to work to concentrate on Sir. I have had group sessions before, and never had I any problems concentrating. It might be because it had been a while, and also because I like the third party of the group session a lot. But I could feel it, I was getting more restless and brat side is getting out more and more. I would verbally test Him a lot, being disrespectful just to get a reaction. I was like a cat pushing stuff off the table to get attention. But I’m not a brat, I do get bratty but I don’t particularly like to be. I’m basically addicted to hearing ‘good girl’ and ‘good kitten’. So I knew what I had to do before the next session, I had to ask for a discipline restoring session from Sir Sade, and as helpful and gracious as always, Sir was happy to oblige.
Day 17 – Kneeling
I’m not into meditation, it’s not that I don’t want to empty out my head once in a while and be completely zen. I just didn’t know how to achieve that, I had a so-called restless mind. I’m constantly thinking about stuff, I don’t know how to quiet my thoughts. The first time I experienced that peaceful state of mind is when I was on my knees in a session. I felt quiet, serene, completely myself. It felt like home. “On your knees” is my favorite command from my Dom. With my first Dom, aftercare was done on the sofa mostly, both relaxing and chatting away. In the beginning with my Dom, aftercare was on the bed usually, lying and chatting. But on my first caning punishment session, which was super intense, I ended up having the aftercare on my knees with my head in His lap and Him sitting on my armchair. I was surprised how much I enjoyed kneeling next to His feet, looking up to Him and seeing Him looking down on me. He enjoyed it very much too, so after that session, I pretty much do it every chance that I get. Saints’ knees, like I read from the book “Red Queen” about Queen Margaret Beaufort who got bruises on her knees for praying on her knees all the time. Although it’s not the same person Margaret and I are worshiping, but we both have definitely earned those pretty little bruises on our knees. 😉
Congratulations my dear readers! You’ve survived Monday and made it to Tuesday. I’m here to reward you with something kinky. Kinky Tuesday, I think it has a nice ring to it. So here I am trying out my potential new update schedule.
I’ve written about humiliation in BDSM back in August, and my experiences have since changed a little bit. I wrote back then that I don’t particularly care for the physical acts of humiliation such as slap in the face or spitting and such. But I’ve since then come to love those things. I love the face slapping, the crawling, the hair pulling, everything! One thing still remains true though, I don’t feel humiliated by those acts in any way. Like I said before, in order to feel any humiliation, one has to have shame, which I do not. Back in August, I haven’t been completely broken down yet. Once I was broken down, completely and thoroughly, after the first time, then it does get gradually easier and easier.