Emo Attic

For Grandpa

Let me tell you a little story about my grandpa. You know how some girls would admire their dads and would hope to find a man like their dad to marry. For me, that role model is my grandpa. It will be very hard to find another man who loves his wife as much as my grandpa loves my grandma. Many years ago, grandma got a stroke and lost her ability to read or speak properly. Grandpa would tirelessly and with utter patient guess what my grandma tried to say, sometimes for tens of minutes for just one single word. Grandma would lose her temper and get frustrated, but grandpa never lost the smile on his face. I guess he was just really happy that he didn’t lose her. They got to spend their diamond wedding anniversary together after being 60 years married. They celebrated grandpa’s 90th birthday couple of years ago. I could only wish that I can find the love that they have, even one tenth of it would be enough for me.

Few years ago, my grandpa got a stroke. He is pretty much bedridden after that, and only had the energy to sit up in his wheelchair few hours a day to eat. When I was visiting my grandparents last time, it was so hard for me to see an once strong man being confined in his room. I could tell he was frustrated. And I could see that old age had finally got to him. It broke my heart to see grandma spending most of her day sitting in his room, the love of her life. I could only hope that he knows that she’s with him, the love of his life.

Today I just got a call from my mom and she told me that grandpa is in the hospital and that this trip might well be his last. I’m sad but at the same time relieved. For my mom, or for my uncle who’s the one taking care of grandpa these last few years. I’m sure it’s not easy for them either to see their own father, their hero suffering. I’m most worried about my grandma. I hope she can find the strength to carry on and I hope she knows that her children, her grandchildren and her great-grandchildren, we all love her so much.

I’m sorry to write about such a heavy subject on Friday. I’m very bad at dealing with death, I always try to find something positive about it because the alternative would simply crush me if I let it. On that note, I chose a song that I’m sure my grandpa would approve because I guess the optimistic and resilient parts in me came from him. Love you, grandpa, I know we’ll meet again.

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