*serenade* “And now, the end is near. And so I face the final curtain. My friend, I’ll say it clear. I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain… I planned each charted course. Each careful step along the byway. And more, much more than this. I did it my way…”
Wow, almost a whole year, so many parts later, here we are with the final weekly obsession post. They had started as a fun way to share bits and pieces of my life, but they had become increasing laborious to write. So as I’ve mentioned earlier, after this 50th part, I’m going to dissolve the Weekly Obsessions into smaller shorter bits to post throughout the week, if there is something to write about. But I’ve decided to go out with a bang so at final part of this post there would be something special. 😀 So let’s begin.
1. Foodporn Fever – This part is going to be on Mondays from next week (whenever there is something exciting to share)
So there is a pretty traditional Finnish dish called ‘makaronilaatikko’. The literal translation is macaroni casserole. It’s made with cooked macaroni, minced beef and onion and the whole glory is submerged in an egg and milk mixture (roughly 2 eggs to 0,6 liter of milk). It is super easy if you wanna give it a go. Main ingredients, 400 grams of dried macaroni (cook it in salt water, leave it slightly al dente). Then 400 grams of minced beef, and fried that with garlic and one medium size onion. Mix up two eggs with 0,6 liter of milk. Combine the beef and the cooked macaroni and put it in a large casserole. Pour the egg-milk mixture in so that it almost cover all of the macaroni and meat. Sprinkle cheese on top (optional) and chuck it into the 200C oven for about 30-40 minutes. You must be wondering about the seasoning now. Here’s the part where you can have a little bit of fun. The macaroni is cooked in salted water, and depending on the recipe and who made the recipe, it might tell you to only use salt and pepper on the meat or the egg-milk mixture. I like to season everything well, and add something extra too. So in addition to the salt and pepper to taste, I added chili flakes, smoked paprika powder and dried thyme and a pinch of dried rosemary. I also added some shredded gouda cheese into the mix and on the top. This dish can be a bit bland sometimes, at least the version that they make at school cafeterias, so I usually like to add some saltier and stronger cheese into the mix. Plus I like spicy, thus the chili flakes. There is an on-going joke about how some Finns put ketchup on everything, and I have to admit that I absolutely hated it when my ex used to put ketchup on all of my pasta dishes even before tasting. But macaroni casserole, it’s in the tradition to eat it with a generous dose of ketchup, and that’s the way I’m used to eating it. Of course, I sometimes would get fancy, and add some special ketchup like sun-dried tomato ketchup or chili ketchup. I’ve yet to try to make my own ketchup but maybe someday. It’s a dish with strong nostalgia linked for me, it’s one of the first dishes that a picky little Chinese girl (aka me) agreed to try at school during school lunches. 😛
I love instant noodles, but my way of eating them is usually not very instant. I bought a small box of grilled ribs from my local supermarket, cos I’m feeling lazy and I didn’t have any ready protein at home. So at home, I cooked a instant noodle, added some chives and coriander into the hot soup, and a couple of ribs on top. I also cut up a piece of cucumber into cubes and seasoned it with fish sauce, tabasco hot sauce, sesame oil and sesame seeds, it turned into an instant pickle cucumber side dish. And another century egg cut into little chunks and seasoned with soy sauce, rice wine, sesame oil and seeds plus some coriander. Because just eating instant noodle is pretty boring, so I always color it with simple and quick side dishes and add some protein into the mix. Cos meat makes everything taste better. 😀 And as for side dishes, take some tips from Korean cuisine, they are masters of side dishes. As simple as kimchi (pickled Chinese cabbage) or other instant marinated fried veggies are excellent side dishes.
2. Cultural Crusade – This part is going to be on Tuesdays from next week (whenever there is something exciting to share)
Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse (2015)
It has been a while that I’ve watched a horror parody-like comedy. Scouts and zombie probably wouldn’t pop into mind in the same sentence, but they went quite well together in this funny little flick. From time to time the pacing was a bit off, thus stopping it elevating from good to great. It does have some of those outrageous and a little unnecessary scenes that might turn someone off, but I guess that’s the point of having those scenes, so that they could separate themselves from the rest of the crowd. Like a scene where a very well-equipped lady cop turned zombie’s shirt got caught up on a fence and while she lurched forward to attempt to get some brains, her shirt ripped wide open and of course she wasn’t wearing any bras. The end-result, pretty awesome huge zombie titties jumping up and down. And before the boy scouts ran away, one squeezed himself some handfuls, cos come one, who wouldn’t in that situation. 😀 Yeah, that kind of movie. There’s also one that had something to do with a zombie penis but I’ll leave that for ya to discover on your own in case you wanna check this out. I liked the friendship between the three boy scouts, but their weapons, especially that turning blades thingy also seen on the poster, that’s downright dangerous and unnecessary and a bit underwhelming as a wow factor cos it’s kinda lame and as a self-proclaimed zombie killing expert (at least in theory), I deemed that weapon completely ineffective. My choice of weapon would be short ninja katanas and something that is not too long and heavy ended, like a mace. But all in all, it’s a fun watch. My IMDb rating: 6 stars out of 10
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016)
Five years ago, my love for Harry Potter came to a stand-still, along with the last movie. To be honest, the Harry Potter movies weren’t that good, but because the world in them was extremely well-made so we Potter fans tolerated the movies. As for the books themselves, the weakest link, for me, is the title character. Potter is the hero of the books but what I’m more interested in the world. Those smalls glimpses about the fascinating adult world, of how magic works in the so-called real life and not in a tugged away magical school. So our silent pleas were answered in an unexpected form, they are making five movies out of the tiny thin school book about beasts and creatures. I know, it sounds ridiculous, like The Hobbit all over again, but this time I felt like that all the elements are aligned. Beasts and magical creatures were some of the most fascinating aspects of the Potter world, and now they get center stage and we get to see them and know them so much better now. With J.K. Rowling herself penning the script, it created confidence that the spirit of wondrous imagination would remain intact. And now it’s about the adult world, the politics, the getting along with muggles. And all of that set in the mesmerizing New York in the 20s. And I love Eddie Redmayne. His acting style might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I think he’s quite perfect as our hero, someone who is an unlikely hero, an awkward one and probably not very well-liked, and definitely geeky in his own ways. I liked the fact that he’s nothing special really, not particularly good with magic, no hidden ‘superpowers’, except that he knows a lot about creatures and how to care for them. And it’s that kindness and empathy and childlike innocence and wonder towards misunderstood creatures that make him unique. He reminds me a lot of our beloved giant Hagrid who loves beasts, except our new hero Newt has skills and knowledge of how to handle them. There was one particular scene that might have appeared super awkward, and that was the ending scene between Newt and the detective, but then I’ve to remind myself that it is the 20s, people were much more courteous and timid back then, so even embracing in the public would probably be a big no no. I like the movie, its tone more dark and adult, while it kept the magical component within it that had enchanted kids and adults alike all those years ago first in book form and then as movies. I’m looking forward for the next four sequels. My IMDb rating: 8 stars out of 10
3. Happy Hubbub – This part might be mixed into Random Ramblings category, which would be every Thursday (whenever there is something exciting to share)
So last week was Sir Atticus’s birthday! I’ve prepared a birthday card for Him for like five months now, and I was super happy that He really liked it. And of course, one must have cake on one’s birthday, or at least something sweet that’s almost a cake. So I got a heart shaped like donut, not because of the heart shape but because it’s also the best freaking donut ever – caramel on top, and vanilla creme filled. And I also hunted around town for birthday candles and I stumbled upon this awesome little pink but super grand candle stand. I mean look at it! Wasn’t that freaking awesome!? His birthday was the best day of the year so far, even better than my own birthday, because I felt like I’ve made someone special, who never quite celebrates birthdays, happy. And that’s all that matter to this little kitten, that Sir is happy. ^^
4. Pouty Phenomenon – aka rants might be mixed into Random Ramblings also, but I tried to limit the negative stuff and concentrate on positive stuff
But last week, I have nothing, not one thing to complain. Last week was perfect. ❤
5. Sexy Stir – This part is going to be on Sundays from next week (whenever there is something exciting to share)
Okay, here’s the special thing I promised in the beginning of this post. A little back story. Around a month ago, as a punishment, Sir put down the orgasm ban. Before that I could ask permission whenever I wanted an orgasm but during orgasm ban, I wasn’t allowed to ask. But then Sir started liking having my orgasms firmly in His pocket while getting me to edge three times a day, as in I get myself to the very edge of cumming but then stop before I actually cum. And then repeat twice more. It’s torture I tell you! But the sweet kind, cos I like to be in a very short leash too. There’s beauty in suffering. 😉 I don’t remember how the conversation about a day off from the orgasm ban began, like one day with permission to climax as many time as I can. But then it turned into me planning to break my own record, which is the merely nine orgasms a day. I chose a day when I practically had nothing to do for a whole day, and that day was last Saturday. Out of curiosity I googled whether there is a documented record of female orgasms, and there is! Not a Guinness record but some record nonetheless. And that was 220 orgasms in one sitting. That’s a LOT of orgasm. That poor clitoris and vajayjay. Well, I’m not even going to have delusion that I would compare to those numbers, but surely I can do 1/10 the amount, right? And not in one sitting, cos a girl gotta eat too, but I planned to do it in rounds but still in 12 hours time frame. From midday to midnight. But then I broke the stereotype of Chinese being good at math by raising the goal from 22 to 24, cos 24 is easier to diving into 12. Two orgasms in an hour, that doesn’t sound so bad now, does it? So the special thing, I thought it would have been fun to document the whole thing. So here it is. XD
Right away from midday, I started with round one. My choice of weapon was my trusting cordless magic wand vibrator that I’ve named Sandra, and I had already tons of porn clips in my to aid me at my endeavor. I’ve mentioned this sometimes, that the only time I climaxed without stimulation my hand or anything else, I was watching a Japanese porn clip about school girls being touched on the train, so I decided to honor that by keeping it Japanese theme whole day. And I also found some clips to start that are solely dedicated to getting it on on trains, busses and other public places like the park. I started with a bang, as those little clips yielded me four orgasms. Then I switched to Japanese animated porn, aka hentai, and I chose a random clip that happened to be a decent gang bang and that gave me two orgasms. After those I legit passed out on my sofa, and took an 1,5 hour nap, cos after being starved for so long of self-induced orgasms, getting to cum as much as you want is quite tiring. 😀 And that was round one, it last about one hour, and the orgasm count – 6.
I woke up, and decided that I should clean and order food. Cos I don’t have time to make food, I got orgasms to archive. 😀 So I ordered pizza and watched TV and next thing I know it was already six pm. It was time for round two. And here came an interesting part, cos I found my way onto a weird site that had a large archive of scenes from old movies that are in one way or the other a little extreme. A lot of horror movies with gory scenes but there is one category called Pinku Eiga, which upon googling means films with nudity in it. In the category picture there was a Japanese woman dressed in a kimono and bound beautifully in ropes so of course I clicked the category. The next 80 minutes I spent in a weird but arousing alternative reality. Old Japanese naughty movies from the 60s, 70s and 80s and I admired how kinky they were. There was a young couple keeping a sex slave, and in the true Japanese fashion, the consensual nonconsent is a strong aspect. Also in the old movies the serving of the army was very prominent. There was one clip that shows six or seven women volunteering to be ‘glory holes’ for the troops. They all lied down on a platform naked on their back, and then they were all strapped down with a wood entrapment that kept their head and hands in place. A bit like entrapment in guillotines. Then soldiers would form a line and all the girls get fucked by eager soldiers while not even seeing who is squeezing their tits and fucking them hard. From those weird old movies I got seven very strong orgasms. I ended the round with some hentai action about young slave girls and they gave me five more. So round two lasts about 80 minutes, and the orgasm count jumped to 18.
I took another break after that, watching more TV and took a shower. When I was in bed and ready for round three, it was exactly 11 pm. I had one hour to get six orgasms in order to archive my goal of 24 orgasms. I knew I didn’t have time to leisurely look for the right porn clips, every porn watcher knows what I’m talking about. Looking for the right clip and building the anticipation up is part of the fun. So I went to hentai, which is my usual choice of porn. The first clip was about young school girl prostitutes and that gave me three orgasms. Then came a clip about a news lady getting it on in secret on the set, but it was a slow paced one so it only gave me one orgasm. I had 20 minutes left when I moved on to a clip that looked just like another school girl clip, but then it surprised me being very very kinky. That’s what I like about hentai, they always surprise me. The clip turned out to be an innocent school girl who got made into a sex slave by a fellow high schooler, and she got deep into submission. So deep that she was willing to be given up to other men by her Master to use as they see fit. 😀 The clip ended on a slightly dark note as the young Master was put in jail for… prostitution I guess, cos I was a little preoccupied, I’m not sure. But then the girl went to visit him in the jail and he was, I guess surprised that the girl was very much in submission to him. Okay, I must watch that again, cos I’ve no idea of the actual story line. But that surprise kinky clip got me three giant orgasms, with the last one at 11.59 pm. I know, I made it, my goal I mean, and even got one extra for the road! 😀 So the third and last round last exactly one hour, and the final orgasm count was 25.
So, my new orgasm record in 12 hours is 25. I would not attempt to break it anytime soon, as after four days, my inner thighs were still hurting from all the muscle flexing. 😀 But inspired by my little record attempt, Sir had decided to give me one orgasm day a week, either on Saturday or Sunday, during which I can have as many orgasms as I want. And the rest of the day would be back to edging three times a day. Of course, during sex it highly depends on Sir’s mood whether I get to cum or not, but I’m always allowed to beg. 😉
Here it was, a way to end these one-year-long series of Weekly Obsessions. In two days, something awesome is going to begin, so stay tuned! And come back tomorrow for something kinky. 🙂