My reading task continues and it has been really fascinating to the ‘The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty’ again after like five years and be able to recognize so many things that I missed last time. I am also a huge psychology nerd, my first substantial dream job was becoming a psychologist but then that dream didn’t come into fruition because I was sure I didn’t have to patient to go through med school. But my interest in psychology never went away. So when I recently read a chapter from the Sleeping Beauty about slave training, I was intrigued to find out more. The chapter was about a training method in which a slave was sexually stimulated and spanked, and that was done everyday for some time until the slave is conditioned to associate pain from spanking with sexual arousal. I immediately recognized that being the classical conditioning method. You know, the dog and the bell.
I have no idea how much the classical condition method is used in BDSM nowadays to train submissives and slaves, because unlike in the fictional world of Sleeping Beauty, becoming a subbie or a slave is completely voluntary now. Although I do see it might still be used, like if a Master/Mistress likes his or her slave to become aroused from something completely nonsexual, for example washing the floor or ironing clothes. Although subs and slaves submit because they want to, some of us do need the breaking of our pride now and then, especially in the beginning. I do have certain interest in behavioral changes, slave training and the Master/slave dynamic, as a fascinating subject to read and learn about. However, I don’t identify myself as a slave, because that complete of a power exchange is not something I want in my D/s relationship. As I don’t know personally anyone in M/s relationship, except by following a few blogs written by slaves about their training. Even if that level of intensity might never be my thing, I do find the M/s dynamic beautiful.
There is another method of conditioning though, and that is widely used in the BDSM world: operant conditioning which involves applying reinforcement and/or punishment after a behavior. In other words, our beloved reward and punishment system. In its simplest form, it can be about me behaving like a good girl and then getting rewarded with pleasure and affection. Every D/s relationships, there are rules and protocols, some relationships have more, some less. There are two kinds of reinforcement and two kinds of punishments, the positive and the negative. Reinforcement is used to strengthen or increase certain behavior, like being obedient without hesitation. In positive reinforcement, obedience can be rewarded with a praise or something favorable like a subbie’s favorite food. In negative reinforcement, obedience can also be rewarded by getting a pass on something not so pleasant, in my case that can be my morning workout. Punishment, on the other hand is used to discouraged or reduce certain behavior, like acting like a brat. In positive punishment, something unpleasant is done like spanking to tame a brat. In positive punishment, something pleasant is taken away from the said brat, like no permission for orgasms for a week.
I think this is endlessly fascinating because I wonder how much of my responses are a part of me being a submissive and how much is it due to conditioning, even if it wasn’t done on purpose. I can’t explain why I get sexually aroused when I submit, that it why I decided that I was born with it, like I can’t explain why I like both men and women. My body reacts nowadays by getting aroused for doing things that I didn’t react to before. Things such as kneeling, hair-pulling, face-slapping or even performing oral sex. I didn’t get turned on by them before when I was in vanilla relationship. But now when my Dom does those things to me, my body would get itself ready for Him, I would get hot and wet. I’m sure part of it is because serving and surrendering make me feel submissive, and submitting turns me on. But I wonder whether part of it is also because my body had learned to get ready to receive pleasure only my Dom can give me. The same thoughts go through my head about spanking and other activities involving pain. There is no denying it, pain turns me on. But I’m not sure whether it’s because I’m a masochist, or whether receiving pain is the ultimate form of submission, or whether like giving blowjobs, it’s my body conditioned to associate the pain with pleasure. I’m not sure I am a maso in its purest form. I definitely don’t get wet if I hit my elbow on the door. I only get aroused when it’s my Dom who is giving me the pain. It might be a delicious combination of them all.
I do find myself getting aroused in the strangest of situations. Like when I’m working out in the morning. To motivate me, Sir had named Himself my unofficial personal trainer and I am to report to Him five times a week in the morning about my workout in the form of a photo of my sweaty panties. And because of that, I would feel proud of myself and like I’ve been a good girl after working out, so it’s no wonder why I do get a bit wet sometimes while working out. Because every subbie knows that it feels very good when you know you’re doing something that is going to get you that ‘good-girl’ praise. 😛 Or when I’m getting my monthly Brazilian wax. After over a year of doing that, it still hurts like a motherfucker, there’s no denying that, and that’s not something that my Dom had told me to do either. It just had become a habit, cos I like it hairless down there… okay now that I think about it, maybe I am a little masochistic after all. 😀
For something naughty, come back next Wednesday. Until then, stay kinky! 😉