Here and there in this blog I’ve talked briefly about one of my favorite fetishes: face slapping. For me, it is one of those special ones, because it packs a lot of meaning for me, and even some taboos. And it definitely wasn’t anything sexual back then, and it’s something that even now after going in BDSM, I wouldn’t let just anyone do it. Because it feels way more personal than just a slap to the butt. Before I dive into this topic, remember that the face slapping that I practice is the face slapping in BDSM, meaning it’s between two consensual adults and never done out of anger or out of control. If you want to know more about techniques and the mental aspect and impact of this act, visit The Kink Realm, they have a very good article explaining practically everything you need to know about face slapping in BDSM.
So I grew up surrounded by Asian culture, and Asians slap a lot for some reason. 😀 It’s something used a lot to punish someone who disrespects you or to humiliate someone and showing one’s supremacy. It’s used by women when they get dumped, it’s used to humiliate people who acts like a little bitch and doesn’t deserve a punch, it’s even used by bosses to discipline employees. It’s usually dramatically portrayed in movies and TV shows, complimented with a soundtrack accordingly. It’s something I see being done out of spite, rage, jealousy, anger and frustration. The biggest emotion I associate with face slapping is disrespect. I used to hate it, I guess I still hate it, even if it’s just play slapping, and not in a million years would I think of it being anything sexual in the past. My ex used to play slap me a lot, and no matter how many times I expressed that I hated it, he would keep doing it cos he kinda ‘forgot’ that I didn’t like it. It’s hard to imagine anyone liking it. For him it’s just some harmless fun, for me it was disrespectful. And even after I told him what it was for me, he failed to see it as disrespectful because he didn’t mean it that way. And let this subbie tell you something, to vanillas and kinksters alike, as a recipient aka someone things are done to, I get to decide what is considered respectful and what is not.
It was very surprising to me when I experienced it the first time in a sexual context, that I actually got aroused by it. But I still don’t think it’s the act itself that got me excited. Unlike a slap on the butt that actually feels quite good, a slap to the face never feels good. But it’s still one of my favorite ways to get into subspace. It feels very intimate, very personal. Unlike spanking most of the time, the slapper can usually see the reaction of the slappee, an instant result to how the act affects the recipient. It requires mutual respect and trust. In the beginning of my BDSM journey, I didn’t pay much attention to face slapping. But as I grew as a submissive, as I became more aware of what my submission means to me and what I want it to mean to my Dom… let’s just say that I don’t see myself as a puppy anymore who would follow blindly and obey no matter what, like I kinda did in the beginning. Now it’s impossible for me to imagine letting anyone else slap me in the face except my own Dom. I don’t think I would be comfortable with it if it’s just with a session partner. Like other forms of humiliation, be it verbal or physical or mental, it’s my Dom’s right exclusively. So it’s hard to determine whether it is even a fetish for me, because I’m very choosy about who gets to do it to me when it comes to humiliation. Unlike some who are into humiliation, they might like it even if it’s a stranger who does it to them, or even get more aroused by the fact that it’s a stranger, I need more time to build my trust, more time to earn my respect and a deeper level of commitment before humiliation would start to turn me on.
Sir Atticus likes face slapping. And He does it really really hard. He does it so hard that my head usually whips to the side from the force, but not that hard that He had ever left any marks on my face. He’s also very unpredictable with how many times He slaps or to which side of the face. Sometimes it’s very hard to just one side or both, sometimes it’s less hard but so rapidly that I don’t even have time to cry out. And I always try my best to anticipate when the next one is coming and try not to clench up my jaw. Cos that shit hurts. But as I said, He’s completely unpredictable with the force, the amount and the direction, so if my eyes are opened, I end up flinching a lot whenever I think He lifts his hand. I often wonder whether He notices that at all and just how funny I look. Cos I’m pretty sure being unpredictable and striking when the subbie least expects it, it’s like the favorite past-time of Dominants. There are few reasons He slaps, or at least I take it that way: as a foreplay to get me into subspace really quick, for the pain when He does it long and hard to feed to little masochist in me, as a quick punishment when I for example takes a little too long to answer His questions, and as a method to break me. Or hell, just because He likes it. Doms should get to have fun sometimes too, right? 😛 Cos sometimes when I’m in a delicate mood, face slapping done hard enough would break me and make me sob. Most of the time, after hard slaps, Sir would kiss me on my cheeks and it would feel so good on my burning skin. I do like it a lot that He takes time to do little things like that that makes me feel I’m being appreciated, cherished and cared for.
So here it is, a little piece about how I feel about face slapping. 🙂 I hope you liked it. For more kinky and/or naughty stuff, check back here next Wednesday. Until then, stay kinky! 😉