Is That a Thing? · Kinky Dungeon

Day 20 of the Kinky Christmas Calendar 2015

Dia20

Day 20 – Crying

I’m not sure whether it counts as dacryphilia if it’s me who gets turned on when I get broken down and I cry. I wrote about crying and what it means to me earlier. I also wrote more about breaking me a while ago. I wouldn’t say I don’t cry much. Actually I do cry quite a lot, in movies and while reading books. But I don’t cry much because of pain, whether it be emotional or physical. I’m the kind that keeps it all in. I have learnt to let go more and not let it destroy me inside out. So basically it’s a way for to let go all the nonsense that is control, ego, dignity during sessions and just let sensations take over. Whenever my Dom breaks me and I end up sobbing uncontrollably, it arouses me immensely. I enjoy being all raw in front of someone I know I can trust, trust that He won’t freak out, trust that He knows those tears and sobbing for what they are – a gift for helping me let go. My Dom might not have dacryphilia in the literal sense, He does enjoy seeing me in tears, because then He knows He had done something right. I agree that it’s a form of sadism. Making me cry requires a large amount of pain, or the right kind of humiliation. It has to come from some place organic, being mean would just piss me off. I don’t have many insecurities or shameful things for my Dom to tap into. Of course I have faults, tons of them, but I’m not that insecure about them. On the contrary. I’m very secure with all my imperfection and faults. If it’s something I can’t change, like my three tiny scars on my left eye, why worry about them. If it’s something I can change, like having an extra few pounds, then I will work to change those, so why worry about them either. I always sleep so very well after a session involving me crying. I swear, it’s more relaxing than a day spent at a spa.

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