Alright. Alright. Okay. Alright. Okay. *breaks out into song jamming to Macklemore’s Can’t Hold Us* Yup, the glorious holy post-subdrop giddiness. Can I get a hallelujah? It’s time again to present you yet another fine specimen of mankind, this time I dubbed him The Poet. This one was the hardest one to translate yet, he uses the kind of language I could only describe as… floral? I’m like the opposite of decorative language, not that I don’t know how to, but I just prefer writing like I speak. I always feel that if somebody writes like he carries a fucking thesaurus around, it makes me suspicious. It would make me wonder what he’s hiding behind all that pretty talk. I will try my best to translate using terms that are same in spirit as the original version. I actually had to use a dictionary while reading the thing in Finnish, cos my floral vocabulary is not that plentiful. Again, my commends are in red.
* Life is dancing on a high wire between elegance and lewdness * (This might as well be a red neon warning sign for pretty talk)
Femme Fatale. (Who me? I swear there was nothing leather in my ad photo 😛)
I have circled around your ad for a few days now. For some reason it returns before my eyes time and again. The matter tingled inside of me, for I know that I am the same rare species as you are. So this is a precise reply and the next rows of text will prove that I mean what I say. The genre you described is more than familiar for me. (Seriously, he starts to lose me a little already.)
I’ve been around quite a bit, a little bohemian, definitely verbal, absolutely sober and undeniably responsible single gentleman individual. I live and breath in the same city as you and I work a demanding job at the neighbor city. I have an academic education and the material base in life is in check. Of course the years have left their marks on me, but I prefer healthy life choices and for example I like exploring the nature especially this time of the year. I also own a summer vacation house.
My relationship history is diverse, but I’m not a player, although I do feel certain attraction towards polyamory. My sexual profile’s main elements can be stated shortly when I say that I am a dominant heterosexual. For my preferences I’ve began to search targets in a serious manner already years ago, when for the first time I took part in a party aimed for adult in Helsinki. After that all the community’s associations at this country became familiar to me and of course I trained a couple of submissives, I read literature of the field and I looked for new influences online. I have not become cynical nor have I became fixated on any particular style. I am not a Master by the word’s most cliche definition, I’m rather a gentle savage and an elegant lewd. Fundamentally I haven’t been family-oriented, although undeniably I deemed it a basic matter to have a good and confidential relationship in which every issue would be discussed openly. A vanilla life I do not crave even in my dreams, which is why I don’t aim to have offspring. (You can well have kids and be kinky, you know)
Those things that someone might think it’s twisted or morally dubious can be completely compatible with me. I am depraved, although behavior literate and I have feelings as well as empathy. (He says those basic stuff like it’s super rare to have feelings and empathy) Still, the flogger stays well in my hand and I would tie an untrained bitch in a whole-body net with pleasure. On occasions, when I happened to be in the mood I might dress in pvc or uniform and get lost in my role well. I naturally like toys for adults also and especially being naughty but still classy outdoors/in public. Playing with masks is my favorite. My imagination is very active and I constantly create new role-plays.
I think it’s noble to respect your unique sexuality by escorting you to enjoy and drip often, bent over in front of me. (Such strange words to be thrown in one sentence…) If our chemistry is a match, we could go on a field trip to where in orgies the sun never shines but self-indulgent bodies squirm attached to each other when whips streak lustful buttocks. (I have absolutely zero idea what the fuck he’s trying to say. I’m way too old/sober/under-sugared for this shit.)
My favorite spanking instrument (this was my new question I added to the end of my ad to test if people actually read the whole thing) is leather crop or wide tip leather whip which do not create any streaks but would make a beautiful sound on impact. (Plus a weapon of choice says a lot about a Dom. Someone who prefer sounds over marks on the skin tells me he might do things for show only) Not everything can be an exact match: I am already 40 years old, but if you don’t think this is an issue, everything else I have to offer more than compensate that.
I like the pocket venus look. It’s nice to bring a small woman lewd sense of safety. (Yet again, no clue)
Streaks on your skin
He sounded strange but I still proceed to ask for his photo. I mean I’m shallow, if he was hot, I can look pass the pretty-talking. It took him a week to reply.
Hello pocket venus! (Ugh, this ‘nickname’ is starting to get on my nerves…)
You needed to wait for my reply for a bit, because I was on vacation and out of reach. Your charm hasn’t diminished in the meantime however, of course not. (Of course not)
You asked for my photo and you deserve it surely. I don’t have a lot of photos of myself online, because I have certain reasons to protect my privacy. From the link below you get a couple of my photos. They were taken from kinky parties, thus the unconventional wardrobe. It’s more erotic to cover than to expose and that’s why I leave it to your imagination and for physical contact in the future about what lies beneath those clothes. I have sensed your uniqueness and thus I want to offer you the best that I can. This is, however, not a promise yet, but if you act properly, I will open more doors for you.
Letters on the silk of your skin (Why he keeps mashing up pretty words that make no sense whatsoever together…)
Nothing quite prepared me for his photos. I have never been to a kinky party, nor am I big on kink wear. My only clothing fetish are corsets. I don’t mind leather or pvc or any other kink wear, but I do prefer quality in that matter. This guy looks like a slightly younger version of Ron Jeremy in kinkwear he probably bought from a Halloween costume shop, it was ill-fitting and elegance (the word he uses so much in his mails) would be the last word I would use to describe him. The vibe from the photos screamed role-play and acting. So I replied with my standard rejection “you’re not my type” -speech. I know, it’s lame, but I don’t really care enough to explain exactly why. But then he sent me the following message, like I’m the one in his consideration…
Female feline (Miao)
You focus on glossy photos. I look beneath the shell. (Judging from his writings I was kinda hoping that the glossiness would have saved what seems to be lurking beneath the shell..) Your lewd mind seems promising, but I could only tell later whether you are my type or not. That is to say I am very picky and choosy when it comes to my company because my handling is the best possible quality. You were in the kindergarten when I started to do these things (So he started to do kink when he was what…12? And kids, never use the age card unless you’re literally 80 years old) and I have scoured hundreds of adult parties (I didn’t know that Domly experience can be measured in the amount of kinky parties someone attends). I will form my opinion on a bitch’s processing capacity after her peachy buttocks are well streaked, venus body wrapped in a pretty whole body net suit and delicate pussy is dripping amatory sap in vain waiting for the manly scepter to grant fulfillment delivered to the deep end. (Wow, you really had me at amatory sap) I know how a woman’s arousal rises and how the milky white skin can be highlighted with leather, pvc and corsets. Many know how to expose, I cover and grow a woman into impudent and shameful at the same time, at once entirely naughty and elegant. Few has Attitude enough to jump in this divine voluptuous swing. That’s why it remains to be seen whether you are as lubricious as you claim to be.
PS Do you know what figging means?
I proceed to reply to him that I know I’m fucking shallow, that I want to feel at least some sexual attraction towards my Dom. I know, I’m absolutely crazy right? And that it’s not so ‘elegant’ to judge someone’s level of naughtiness just because they’re not interested in you. And that yes, I know what figging freaking means. *roll eyes* What an odd way to attempt to make an impression. So, yeah, I still don’t trust people who talk pretty. 😀