Trigger Warning: Some of the photos presented in this post might be a little too much for those sensitive little bitc… people who for some reasons have wandered to my blog that heavily focuses on BDSM. Yes, it’s my ass and boobs in these photos. They are censored because the ‘full frontal’ has never been the main point of this blog. And please keep in mind that these marks and photos are produced by two fully consenting adults in their 30s purely for sexual and physical pleasure. In addition to being a submissive, I’m also a masochist. Severe impact play is not for everyone, and I despise Doms who would think it’s okay to say to me (since I happened to like severe spankings) that ‘what kind of submissive cannot take pain’ and bla bla bla. Submission is not measured in how much pain someone can take, there’s no ‘right’ kind or ‘wrong’ kind of submission. Okay, enough ranting and let’s get to the fun stuff.
Impact play, or more lovingly called spanking, was something I was most curious about to try before getting into BDSM in practice. Of course, I had felt the odd spank on my butt during vanilla sex, and it always felt good but was never done with enough purpose, or focus. I got a taste of the hand and the belt already during my very first session. Lovely red marks were left on my butt cheeks that last for few days. From my very first bruises, I was irrevocably hooked. Obviously, the process of getting them is extremely arousing. Equally enjoyable, or maybe even more so, are the days after the spanking. The discomfort, the tiny little painful sensations with my every movement… for all the spankos and bottoms out there, try going on a treadmill the next morning, it’s its own special brand of torture and arousal mixed in one otherwise hideous activity.
As for most of the ‘vices’, the more I fed my little masochist, the more she
craves. My first Dom liked to spank my butt a lot, cos you know, butts are fun. 😛 The day I met the man who is my Dom now, I got bruises to places I’ve never experienced before: on my breasts, on my inner thighs and on my neck. In addition to completely new kinds of pain, that session raised my masochist to a whole new level. And it was also the day I fell deeply in love with choking. I remember that I forgot to bring a scarf to work the next day, and it was summer, so my shirt did nothing to cover my neck bruises. It might have been my imagination, but I could’ve sworn that everyone was staring at my neck. No one said anything or asked anything. And I remember I loved to be seen. I was so fucking proud of my bruises I wore them like jewelry. I couldn’t stop looking at them in the mirror. I loved my bruises.
It was also with my Dom that I got my first deep purple bruise. Unfortunately I have no photos of those, cos my shitty camera really doesn’t do them justice. But if you’re a spanko, and into the more severe type of impact play, you would know what shade of purple I’m talking about. If only I could find that exact shade somewhere in print, I will frame it on my wall. Ever since I began my subbie adventures, I’ve been having sessions roughly once a week. It quickly became obvious that bruises were not as easily achieved as it was in the beginning. Especially on my butt. My skin was getting thicker.
But then along came the cane. From the very first session with the cane, it has basically became my mortal enemy. I absolutely, 100 % HATED the cane. I could hardly stand the special kind of pain the canes produced. So after the first very thorough test-drive of the cane, it had become obvious to which purpose the cane should be reserved to: to punish me. I mean, it is not an easy task to punish a spanko and a masochist. As much as I hate the cane, I have to admit, it does produce the most beautiful marks. Like the one on my right breast, near my nipple. It was from the test-drive, it hurt like a motherfucker, it broke the skin thus creating a longer lasting scar. I still have that stunning scar after two months and I’ve become quite attached to it. It might take another two months to fully disappear, and I know already I’ll miss it like crazy.
So now, after five months of sessions roughly once a week, my butt cheeks have some super healing power now. There’re almost next to no marks to tell the tale the day after from the hand, or instruments like the belt, the ruler, the brush, or the flogger. However, my breasts and thighs and newly discovered my back are still quite noobs for spanking, so marks are much more easily achieved on those areas.
As I’ve mentioned before, yesterday was probably my last session for October, cos I had a really tight work schedule to allow me to play at all during the next two weeks at least. So I made a wish to my Dom, I wished for marks that will last me two weeks. I knew what I wished for, marks on my butt probably won’t last for two weeks, which meant only one thing: it was going to hurt a LOT on other areas other than the butt. So I was mentally prepared for a world of pain. But my Dom still managed to surprise the living daylight out of me, pushing me so close to my yellow-limit. And He always does this little trick of His towards the end. I’m not sure whether He could tell that I’m close to my limit, but He would then say that last ten strikes on each thigh. And my head then would go into counting mode and I would then proceed to take another twenty that I definitely would not be able to without knowing exactly when it would end. And last night, my Dom did something that I considered His most sadistic act yet: He actually managed to make me say ‘no more please Sir’ to spanking. I don’t view it as waving the white flag, it only meant that He had succeed in utterly taming and satisfying the masochist in me. If I hadn’t been breathing hard and sobbing a little after the absolutely brutal spanking session, I could have sworn I would hear myself purring from the intoxicating mixture of the four P: pain, pleasure, pride and peace.
I remember how terrified I was five months ago, of photos of huge bruises, broken skin and scars. I remember thinking to myself, surely that wouldn’t be pleasurable. And I had my Dom to thank for constantly pushing my limits, giving me new experiences, teaching me to truly surrender myself, letting me submit without inhibitions, breaking my walls. And talk about breaking, my ass was accused last night for breaking my Dom’s riding crop, the leather tip fell off. Though it did break my skin, I still consider it as one point for My Butt, zero point for the Crop. 😛 I hope my Dom won’t be too sad to say goodbye to His crop. He did just a brand new bullwhip from yours truly for His birthday, and judging for the little test drive last night, it just might become my another nemesis along with the cane. Single-tails surely live up to their reputation for being vicious little things and the one I chose surely looked magnificent too. But that’s a story for another time. 🙂