Kinky Dungeon

Owner Wanted – That’s A No, part 3 – Extreme age play

The answer is still no, there were hardly any replies that I could even take semi-seriously. Instead, the ridiculous ones just keep rolling in. For this particular collection of replies, I’ve gathered three age-related rejection, of course even if they were not too young or too old, the replies were still funny as hell. Again, my comments is in red. Let’s start from the young and fresh, shall we?

 Heya im 23 year old Finnish man from the metropolitan area (aaaaw), I would lick ur pussy till horny and wet (well that turned dirty real fast, didn’t it) then i would push a finger inside of u i would finger u nicely and with tongue i would play with ur clitoris and around labia then when u start moaning and u wet real good then i would push another finger in ur pussy i would finger hard and tongue i give u the best pleasure of ur life ;)When u are at the top of ur pleasure then i would push a hard dick slowly deep inside of u till the end u would moan hard i would start to accelerate the pace and i would do so nice movements so i would take us peak pleasure

First of all, son, can I call you son? Great. Son, female orgasms don’t work that way. If I’m about to cum and you stop what you’re doing to put your dick in me, I will slap you so hard you would forget your own name for a couple of seconds. But hey, am I actually taking you seriously? My bad. Let’s move on. He’s still young, so maybe some more mature men would know how to tickle a lady’s fancy. The next one is a from a man who calls himself ‘Mean guy’. This one is a charmer.


You have a few wishes in your ad (not wishes, requirements), first of all immediately I will state that you can’t always get what you want. (I know, the Rolling Stones told me) Some things can be achieve over time, some things remain fantasies and then realize that they don’t have any meanings after all (aren’t you the poster boy for dreaming big).

In the name of honesty I state that I am 43 years old. If that is a complete nay-nay for you, then I respect your conviction (oh that’s nice, thank you) and I wish you luck with little boys (aaand the douchebaggery begins). Maybe then you might just be a little girl who has read Fifty Shades of Graden… (and then he goes on insulting me also, and who the fuck is Graden?) Only if you understand that the boys your age wouldn’t know how to offer you what you’re possibly looking for and want, you would also understand that age is just numbers. (Wait, if age is just numbers then why can’t little boys my age know more shit than you?) My last partner was 13 years younger and very happy about our relationship. (why you broke up then?) I don’t, that is, look like a 100-year-old mummy 😉 (Well, at least then you would be great as an extra in zombie flicks)

Let me also say, you don’t need to share me with anyone else, I only want one girl at a time. (I don’t ‘share’ because I think it’s the only way to keep a man, I do it because I’m a kinky slut who wants to hear and see my Dom fucking other girls) So that what is mine wouldn’t be unclear. It can be felt and known. And truly, I want to do everything else than just have basic sex after sauna. But first I need to feel something, something big, something remarkable (oh that something big and remarkable is already in there, where the sun don’t shine). So I wouldn’t tie you to bed or the dining table upon our first meeting (Why the hell not? That was exactly what my Dom did the first time we met and look at how much I adore Him now), I want to get inside your head, not your pussy. If pussy’s turn comes, you would want it more, harder and longer. (Is he saying he wants to spend more time in my pussy than my head?) And you’ll get what you want, I don’t usually disappoint my most precious.

I am very representative, tall and man’s size, non-smoking and almost no alcohol. I don’t have kids or pets – I can concentrate all my energy to tease my sub. Only if I’m satisfied, I am the best company and an outsider wouldn’t believe what can be hidden behind my kindness… very pervy things I might say out loud and humor colors my life anyways. I get along with almost anything and my situational awareness and common sense are abundant. (Yeah, that’s really hard to believe according to this message.)

You would get along splendidly with a man who is sexually satisfied. (That’s fucking sexist, and a female sexual submissive is talking here). If that requirement is met then 24/7 is not an impossible option at some point. First you just need to think about whether you want to lose something because of numbers. (He’s still talking about his age? Must bug him way more than others.)

I rather take the ‘little boys’ my age who don’t feel the need to step on other’s head in order to make oneself feel superior. Manners maketh man, as Colin Firth’s character said in Kingsman. You would think that older you get, better manners you would have. Then you’re dead wrong. Plus, Doms and Masters who are rude to subs from the get-go is a huge turn-off for me. Is it that hard to get into their thick skulls that submissives don’t obey every men who claim to be Dom. I for one only obey my own Dom, after I claim Him to be worthy of my submission. So this next one, not a great start. He sent me multiple emails, I chose the juiciest ones.


I take you for a spin. We have a club meeting tomorrow evening (you’ll find out more in my profile) and I want you to take part.

Write so we can discuss.


(Even my real Dad doesn’t talk to me in such a commanding tone. I wrote back and tell him I have no fucking clue what is he talking about. He then replied.)

Everything you mentioned in your profile are things that I’m looking for myself and I believe I am the perfect Master for you. (That’s something for me to decide, not yours to claim) Tomorrow you have a chance to meet my other subjects… Master’s sluts are coming to visit.

So I strongly suggest that you will not miss this opportunity, this can be a start for a good long-term relationship that I myself am looking for also.


(I toyed with thought of meeting the sluts, and then my mind ran to Dracula and his very slutty brides, and from that I started to suspect that he must be much older than my requirement, cos you know, Dracula’s old. So I asked, and he replied 48. Just as I thought. I kindly replied that no thank you, we’re not age appropriate. His reply:)

Is age difference really that big of a deal? I myself have always dated remarkably younger women as myself… our age difference is not even that great

(And to that I replied that my rule of thumb when it comes to bearable age difference is that the man in question is not capable of being my dad for real easily. He then replied that if he had a child when he was 15, which says that he’s even bad at math… Again, I said no thank you.)

Well I think you are doing wrong (after reading your profile few more times) because I believe I am the Man who can offer you everything you want…
Do you lose anything if we just go for a cup of coffee?

(Me: “Nothing but time. I wouldn’t gain anything.” And I don’t know about you, I get really defensive really quick whenever someone says ‘you’re wrong’ to my face, especially if you’re not my eighth grade physics teacher.)

You can’t know that yet… Take a risk and try.
Or do you want to come to my place.

 (Wow really? After I said no to coffee? I said no again.)

Okay coffee then… is today good?

(Some people just can’t take no for an answer. I said no yet again. At this point it’s just my morbid curiosity (and this blog and you guys) that keeps me replying no to him, just to see when he’s going to give up. I know, I’m a jerk. But hey, I have boobs, a pair of very nice redeeming qualities.)

Do you want to take part in our club meeting then… just as a by-stander so you would see how I work for real.

(The audacity, the fucking nerve of that guy to ask me that again. Hell to the no. He still wouldn’t give up.)

Ok. So you’re sure that you don’t want to meet me anywhere ever?

(Me: Beyond a shadow of a doubt. And lastly he still told me that my choice is WRONG. Oookay.)

If these three don’t make you feel warm and fuzzy and full of hope that there are decent men out there, then I don’t know who would. To be continued with more hope for single women around the world, until next time. 😉


4 thoughts on “Owner Wanted – That’s A No, part 3 – Extreme age play

  1. I can’t get enough these. they make me laugh my ass off every.freaking.time. I am not sure where yiou are searching for a Dom, but it sure sounds like a Digest subscribed to by the Elitest of Douchebags, Best wishes on your hunt!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 😀 Glad you like these! We don’t have a big community in my tiny country, so my ad is just up at a page that is known to be a hangout page for everyone who is kinky or think that they are kinky. Well, douchebags can be found everywhere, especially on the world wide web.


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