Kinky Dungeon

Owner Wanted – That’s a No, part 1 – Tripping

Okay, let’s get to the fun part of being a girl and putting up an ad on a dating site, with a more than slightly pervy requirements and a photo: the crazy funny replies. Of course, it’s always nice to get at least one promising candidate out of the hundreds (yes, that’s how many replies any ads get that are by a woman), but sometimes going through extraordinarily odd ones are super fun too. I’m going to be a mean little girl now and share some of those, for your pleasure: That’s a No, Part 1. They’re all written to me in Finnish, so these are my rough translations. Still I try to keep the spirit, the typos, the grammar mistakes, the odd punctuation, all of those as accurate as possible. My side notes and comments are in red.

Howdy!
In all relationships there are always two sides, knowing and mutual respect, trust in people who respect each other.
I read your ad for a long time. You get probably hundreds of replies, but in the end I decided to reply to it. I am a bald shaven man in his forties. Distance is not a problem, the car has already been invented, I could bring you here, candle light dinner and relaxing. (actually, so far it’s not that bad)
Can for example be only in each other’s arms.
no need to rush, there is time.Always the better you know the other’s desires and wants, the better it is..
Funny,my nature is being the commanding part,master,I know what I want and I take it,and I want that the woman is content,happy.
So the kingdom got space for a queen.
i am also inclined to romance..am I a little odd?? (your words, dude, not mine)
Of course I want to find a cuteness for myself who would bring smile to long days,it would be nice to start days smiling hugs and kisses exchanging,,I want my own darling with who to catch up daily and whom to miss when not there…missing you
to cook alone.to go to sleep alone,wake up alone and no one waits for me or think about me when I’m away from home… (starts to sound a way too lost puppy for my taste)
Some have said that it’s relaxing to be with me,no need to act snobby.my nature is a Master,I know what I want and I take it..no rush, blind-folded,you would be forced to submit to everything,,you could only enjoy when slowly I massage you and lick you.sometimes rougher,if you are good you get pleasure ,You will be pampered :):):)Sub apprentice I take with me to shopping,handcuffs,costumes,chains.Apprentice will also be taught how to behave,master’s word law!.but still,
i am also a master inclined to romance who doesn’t smoke and drink only rarely with chosen company.Imagination I have tons and I am definitely healthy in every place.:)
You probably gets hundreds of replies,but I would be very pleased if you reply to me.
So this is the kind of Master I am.
and if you want to know more I will tell.
I will send a photo the second you answer.
You can let happenings take you,you can’t do anything..It would feel like you are in the womb. (wait what?) Your mind is turned inwards.Whatever happens,you feel safe inside yourself… (eww…)
It’s like your soul leaving your body.You’re not responsible for anything that happens around you
You probably gets hundreds of replies,but I would be very pleased if you reply to me.
.no need to rush, there is time.Always the better you know the other’s desires and wants, the better it is..
Funny,my nature is dominant and I want that the woman is content,it is very arousing to satiate a sub…
So this is the kind of Master I am…
I can’t put my photo with this reply,but in the return mail
And to the end I will send You a poem:
“Skins so close that in between us fits nothing else but the world. (so modestly, the whole freaking world is between us?)
Moments of escalating breathing.
Let the world be our child,let
it have all the power,affection (so I’m left wondering is he asking me to give birth to Jesus or the spawn of the Devil?)

After reading that one… and yes I just couldn’t look away. I don’t is it the strange repeating the same sentences and the incoherence of it all. Is he trying to hypnotize me or something? Anyways, whatever he’s on while writing that, I’ll have the same please. This one will be hard to top, but maybe it’s still too soon to say. 😀 Until next time.

 

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4 thoughts on “Owner Wanted – That’s a No, part 1 – Tripping

  1. Oh these are splendid, just splendid. TV off, I have found my evenings entertainment! What is making them even more enjoyable are the accompanying comments from you! I’ve read a couple of them already and I wanted to let you know what fun they are to read. I wont comment on all of them as that would make me look like some kind of weirdo too, but thank you for posting. Everything I have read so far on your blog has been either entertaining, heartwarming or educational. I look forward to reading more!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow!!! His continual explanation of what kind of Master he is.. and he never really explained anything. And the womb thing… it’s very disturbing! Yikes! But I do agree with one point he made.. Definitely put the whole world between the two of you! haha!

    Liked by 1 person

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