The thing is, I adore the people in Fetlife.com. It’s a beautiful place where every kind of kinksters and fetishists gather together to love and share. If Fetlife is a country, my bags would be already packed and ready to go. Beautiful kinky photos and videos aside, the best thing about Fetlife is the writings. So many touching stories and hilarious adventures. Once in a while, someone would write a piece that is so on point that my neck hurts from nodding and agreeing so vigorously while reading it. I love lists. And this list is worth sharing. From the lovely alpha-submissive MiaPiccolina, Ten Things Subs Want Their Doms to Know. Click the link to go to the original post and read her other writings too. The quotes are written in the italic font. I’ll throw in some of my own thoughts and experiences.
1. We love to serve.
If You want or need something, please ask us to get it for You. It actually hurts our feelings if, for example, You are hungry and You go and make Yourself a sandwich. By being self-sufficient You are taking away an opportunity for us to serve and please You. So please allow us to serve You. Give us Your ironing, cooking, cleaning, dog walking, even Your mail to post. We will do it all with a smile, knowing we are serving You. [By: MiaPiccolina]
In my earlier posts, I’ve mentioned that in addition to being a submissive, I am also a service sub. So number one is particularly accurate in my case. As of right now, I am not in a 24/7 relationship with my Dom, so I am not cleaning his house or cooking or anything. That however doesn’t stop me from wanting to. Badly. Especially right after sessions, it’s mostly all I could think about. Without an Owner, my service subbie is pretty much shut in her cage, feeling useless and unimportant. She’s usually extremely patient, but when she decides to rattle her cage, I have to distinctively, physically stop myself from washing His dishes. But I promise you, my service subbie side, one day I will find us someone worthy!
2. We crave attention.
We don’t want any old attention, we want Your attention. We crave it. We have a deep need for it. We will do almost anything to get it, including rolling naked in glow-in-the-dark glitter. So sprinkle us with texts, throw in a phone call or two, better yet, spend time with us. Turn off Your phone and talk to us. Your attention will be returned in spades of adoration. The worst thing You can ever do to Your sub is ignore them. [By: MiaPiccolina]
I know a huge smile will invade my face whenever my phone buzzes. ^^
3. We need to be told no.
Sounds strange, but I can guarantee that all subs love to hear the word no from their Dom sometimes. By saying this one word, You are showing us who is in control. Even if we are asking for something we really want. Although we may look hurt, deep inside we are actually thrilled that You are showing us who holds the power in the relationship. It makes my panties wet. [By: MiaPiccolina]
It does sound strange. But being told ‘no’ feels almost as satisfying as being granted our wish.
4. We want to feel appreciated.
We don’t expect a giant bunch of roses on our doorstep every second day, but a gentle caress of the cheek followed by the words “good girl” or “well done baby” can make a sub smile for days. Any lovely sentiment whispered in a subs ear after a scene can lift her up into the clouds. You shouldn’t underestimate the power You hold in Your words, but use them wisely. [By: MiaPiccolina]
Bruises and marks are like jewelry for us from You, we wear them proudly. Long-distance tasks and orders are like hugs and kisses. Praises like “I am proud of you” are the most beautiful flowers for our spirits. So please, let us know when You are thinking of us.
5. We like to be prepared.
Subs like to be at their best for You. If a sub thinks there is even the remotest possibility that they may be meeting up with You that day, she will be out of bed two hours earlier than usual, in order to prepare. Waxing and shaving bits, washing and blow-drying hair, nails polished, make-up photo ready and clothes thoughtfully chosen. Being caught out and not being ready, can cause high levels of anxiety and stress in Your sub. You are probably not too fond of running Your hands down a furry leg either. So be kind and drop a hint when planning a surprise visit. [By: MiaPiccolina]
I do love surprises though. Which results in me being semi-ready all the time. Of course, when a date is set, I like to be more than ready.
6. We are Yours.
You are simply the bees-knees to us. You are the best thing since sliced bread. So the fact that You have chosen us to be Your submissive, gives us goose-bumps and fills us with pride. We love to be reminded of the wonderful fact that we belong to You. So grab our ass and say “mine”, hell growl it in our ear as You are fucking us stupid, but tell us and tell us often. [By: MiaPiccolina]
My knees literally go weak whenever my Dom asks me “who do you belong to” through various different wording and actions, and my reply is always, without hesitance, “Yours”. Good thing that I’m usually lying down or on my knees already whenever that happens.
7. We thrive on discipline.
We need to be held accountable. If You ask us to do a chore or expect certain routines, then we need to know there are consequences for not following through. It helps motivate us and keeps us on our toes. If You want a well behaved sub, ensure that they know what Your expectations are and keep them in check. But remember, any punishment given must be in proportion with the indiscretion. [By: MiaPiccolina]
I have a bratty side. And that brat comes out usually when I’m feeling restless. Like I sometimes joke about things in the most inappropriate of times and topics when I’m feeling uncomfortable or just jumpy.
8. We feel Your disappointment.
When we have disappointed You, whether that be intentional or not, we feel that disappointment deeply. If You choose to punish us, there is nothing that can hurt more than knowing our Dom is disappointed in us. Our little heart’s bleed because we know that we have let You down. So punish us, but once completed, forgive us and encourage us to do better. Our bottom lip will pick up off the ground soon enough. [By: MiaPiccolina]
Oh my God, it’s one of the worst feelings ever. I get obsessed with making my Dom’s disappointment go away, one way or another. If it’s something that I cannot fix no matter what, then I will gladly take whatever form of punishment my Dom sees fit.
9. We like it when You make a mistake.
In our eyes, You are perfect. You are a God. So if You make an error, You will not fall off the pedestal that we have put You on. In fact an error, when handled with humility and humor will endear You to us, because we are reminded that You are human after all. So laugh it off and fear not, Your mistake will just make us love You more. [By: MiaPiccolina]
Even the best subbie makes a mistake once in a while, so do Doms.
10. We need to be fucked hard.
This combines points 1, 2, 4 and 6. Boom. Jackpot. The best way we can show You our complete submission is allowing You to physically do whatever You want to our bodies. Strip us bare, tie us up, spank us, flog us, gag us, but for the love of God, use us and fuck us hard. To be able to be Your source of pleasure is what we live for. How better could we possibly serve You, than to give You the ultimate in pleasure. So fuck us and use us. We love it. [By: MiaPiccolina]
What she said. No more, no less. 🙂
I would like to thank MiaPiccolina again for granting the permission for quoting her piece.