I have always been a big fan of rough sex. I think everyone has a concept of what is rough. Bite marks, bruises on the wrists, vagina fucked raw, etc. My experiences with vanilla rough sex is that it feels pretty fucking good during, but not so much after. A raw pussy is simply uncomfortable. Sore nipples are downright painful for days. And hickeys or any other marks from vanilla sex, I don’t like them. But even my roughest experiences on the vanilla side are just like a walk in the park compared to BDSM sessions. So I had to amp up my rough-scale, but nothing, literally no mental expectations were enough to prepare me for last Friday’s session, when my Dominant said he was going to be rough…
Content warning! I don’t usually warn you guys. You’re big boys and girls, you can handle the shit. But the stuff I am going to share in graphic details are not for the faint-hearted. It’s not going to be nice, or comfortable, or gentle, or sweet. It was sadistic, violent, shocking, all-consuming and very painful. And I love and adore every minute of it. You’ve been warned.
My Dom gave me three instructions/clues as to what was going to go down on Friday: I was to bring my canes with me for Him to test-drive them, I was to wear clothes that He can tear up (I know, pretty hot, right?) and I was to be prepared that yes indeed He was going to be rough. So I did everything He ordered, with my canes and ‘disposable’ clothes and me expecting the worse. Or the best, depends on how you want to see it. I went to His place. The second He opened the door, before I said hi, I was startled by His expression. He had that sadistic gleam in His eyes.
Before I could even finish saying “Oh fuck” in my head, He grabbed me by my hair from the back of my head forcefully, and literally dragged me inside His apartment by my hair. All of my concept of rough went out the window then. Everything happened very fast after that. My coat and bags yanked away from me. Me tackled down, pressed face down on the floor on my stomach. My arms pinned behind my back by His knee. Duct tape over my mouth, duct tape binding my wrists together behind my back. I’m not sure in what order these things happened. When I felt Him ripped apart my stockings, my whole being shuddered inwardly (or I’m not sure did I also do it outwardly), fear, anticipation and a strong sense of surrender took over. I have never entered subspace as fast or in a more forceful manner. I was literally yanked by my hair and off the cliff. And I fell, with no time to even scream.
I somehow ended up on the bed on my back, mouth duct taped, arms also duct taped behind my back, and my legs spread wide open and rope-bound. Then I guess it was supposed to be a warm up for the canes. Flogger licks landed on everywhere. My thighs, inner thighs, my breasts, my pussy. All of them quite thoroughly whipped. I lost track on how many hits there were or how long it all took. All of me felt red hot. The duct tape came off my mouth at one point, for me to serve Him with my mouth. My panties were ripped away from me, stuffed in my mouth and duct taped in place. My legs were unbound, and my skirt being taken off. I must have been quite a vision, practically naked with only ripped ex-clothes on.
My wrists still duct taped behind my back He yanked me inside the bathroom, turned on cold water and pushed me under the shower with a whispered order: “Stay.” Then He went out of the bathroom and closed the door, leaving me in the dark and under the cold shower. The cold water didn’t feel cold in the beginning. With my skin so thoroughly whipped, the cold water felt more like liquid fire on my skin. It felt like hundreds of small needles attacking every inch of my skin. Then He came back, with the canes and attached them on me using what was left of my ripped clothes. Of course, the canes needed thorough soaking before use. He put on some warm water for a little bit to warm me back up, turned me around to shower my back. He then put the cold water back on, and went out and closed the door. For the life of me I have no idea how many times He did that. I had never felt such a strong submission than I felt in the hot and cold shower. I could have leaned forward or backward to avoid getting hit by so much cold water. But moving away didn’t even occur to me. All of me had surrendered. I might be moaning quite loud even through my panties-duct-tape gag, and I was shivering uncontrollably from the cold, but my mind had never been more peaceful and absence of stress. My head emptied completely, and all that was left of me was to feel. The occasional warm water felt divine, I have no words to properly describe how good it felt and how very grateful I was.
After the shower sequence, my memories are a little blurred as to what happened in what order. But there was definitely heavy caning. My ass was still sore from a session two days before, but that didn’t inspire much mercy. Every time I thought I couldn’t take much more, He would say that five more on each side. I swear that’s a psychological trick, surely I could take five more, right? And how I know it had been a painful spanking? When the pain from not-so-gentle anal sex felt more like tickling compared to the caning. I used to hate anal sex before because it hurt so much. I absolutely worship how it felt on Friday. And if I thought caning of my thick-skinned behind was painful, the caning of my tender-skinned breasts was pure torture. One hit actually drew a tiny drop of blood. But by then my masochist was out and about and basking in the pain like the most faithful sun worshiper.
There were hard face slapping, there was spitting, there was long choking sequences. There was also fingering my dripping wet pussy, there was mind-blowing fucking. The whole session was one big brutal example of what BDSM is all about. It was all about my submission and surrender. Why would I want to do that? Because I know how truly freeing it is to give up all the control. Because I know there is no pleasure like what He can give me. Because every part of me want to be claimed by Him completely.
No matter how great the pain, it never surpasses the pleasure. No matter how terrified I was, I didn’t doubt for a second that I was safe and fully cared for. It’s like you would never know how good warm water can feel before you’re shivering from the cold water. It’s like I would have never known what ‘rough’ can mean before a Dominant says ‘rough’.