Torturous. That was exactly how it felt like at work when I knew that I got to meet Him the first time for a drink after work. The seconds and minutes ticked by ever so slowly, like time itself was in for this sadistic game to make me suffer. For two weeks we had been emailing back and forth, getting to know each other, talking about desires and limits, building the mutual trust, not forgetting some heavy flirting. Hundreds of emails later, I was promptly nearing my breaking point, to say I was frustrated would be a brutish understatement. I wasn’t just horny, sex wasn’t what I wanted. What I wanted was to submit. I needed to submit.
“The longest work day of my life finally ended. It was time for meet and greet at last. I was never nervous before dates, but this was more than just a date. And this was not just any man, this was the man I wanted to trust completely, to whom I would yield my body and mind. So fuck yes I was nervous. When I finally arrived at the nice quiet bar, I was practically burning up from the inside. The very first thing I paid attention to was His eyes. Or not His eyes. It was more the way He looked at me. With smiling eyes full of mischief, He made me feel weak on my knees and my heartbeat migrating from my chest to my inner thighs. I automatically went to sit beside Him on the sofa, and not across on a bar stool. Usually a little space in between would sooth my nerves, but in this case it was the proximity that got the job done. I felt comfortable talking to Him, although I do talk a lot when I’m nervous. I don’t know if He could tell that I was nervous, and I don’t know whether He did what he did next to relax me. As soon as He had His hand on the back of my neck, a wave of calm washed over me. The last bit of nerve just leaked out of me like sweat. And when He moved His hand from my neck to my head and gently tucked on my hair, the calm was replaced by pleasure so great that I involuntarily closed my eyes. I couldn’t care less that I was in a bar, practically having a lady boner. And I cared even less about how desperate I probably sounded, I was ready to beg for more. We couldn’t get to my place fast enough.
It was the oddest feeling. As soon as we were alone at my place, as soon as He had me by the hair pulling my head back, this oddly peaceful feeling consumed me. He led me by the hair to the armchair. He gave me my safeword. It was finally time for the spanking that was long due. My whole body shivered with barely contained desire as He bent me over His knee and pulled down my pants and panties, exposing my bare bottom. I wasn’t tense, I wasn’t embarrassed at all, I couldn’t be more relax and at peace when I was bent over His knee. When the first slap landed from His bare hand on my bare bottom, I gasped. I couldn’t help myself, no one has ever slapped me half as hard. I stopped counting in my head after the tenth slap. My butt cheeks were on fire, it hurt a lot, but the pain was beautiful. Every gentle caress in between sent waves and waves of pure pleasure and I could feel the wetness gathering. After I don’t know how long, the spanking was over. He pulled me to my feet and ordered me to go stand in the corner, my no doubt bright red bottom exposed for His pleasure. When I was standing there in the corner, panting heavily, with my bottom still feeling red hot, I had an almost out of body experience. I was overcome by the sense of peace so powerful that it was all I could do not to pass out.
It was funny how utterly unaware I was about the passing of time. But eventually I felt His hand back in my hair. With a low voice just slightly louder than a whisper He breathed in my ear that we were not even remotely done. I wanted to grin widely at that, I wasn’t at all sure whether the smile actually showed on my face. He pulled me by the hair to the large ottoman and gave me one of my favorite order: “Bend over.” Once again, with my hands on the ottoman, my butt was sticking out. The first lick of the leather belt, I would never forget just how good it felt. While the bare hand was hot and it spread warm pain like fire on my butt cheeks, the belt dealt a bigger sting, the pain with a sharper edge but it last shorter period of time. I loved the belt.
After the spanking, the lesson, I got my reward. I got to serve Him with my mouth. I happily and most eagerly went on my knees in front of Him and showed Him how grateful I was. When He came I took it all in my mouth, and without much thought I swallowed it all. I was happy as a clam if the session had ended there, but obviously He wasn’t done exploring me. He touched me with His long fingers, the most amazing fingers I’ve ever felt on my clitoris and vagina.
Afterwards, when I felt so blessed and happy curled up in his arms, again he looked at me in the way no one else ever did; he looked at me like I was his most precious property. And for that hour or however long the play time last, maybe I was.”
And that, my beautiful pervs, was my first time. 🙂 If it wasn’t obvious, yes He let me off pretty easy. I adore absolutely everything about my first time. I didn’t want to do much explaining up there, so it wouldn’t disturb the flow of the storytelling. So let’s clear out a few things. First, the odd feeling I was talking about, I now know that it was me entering the fabulous glorious subspace. There isn’t really an easy way to explain what subspace is for those who are not familiar with BDSM terms. It is like a psychological state, almost like a trance, in which my mind completely empties out and my focus is solely on the next order coming from Him. Everybody experiences it in a different way, but for me it felt exactly like the moment when I orgasm, my head goes blank, and for twenty or so seconds during the orgasm I feel no stress and everything was perfect. The sense of relief was something I’ve never felt before. It was like I have been wearing a mask all of my life and for the first time the mask came off and for the first time I could breathe without restrain.
Second thing was about the blowjob. Until my ex, I didn’t even let men come in my mouth, and even with my ex, I never swallowed. I deemed it was utterly unnecessary. So while giving blowjobs before, I always had a tissue ready in which I would spit the sperm out. So my first session was also my first time swallowing. I didn’t consciously decide that I would do it, and He didn’t order me to do it. It just felt like the most natural thing to do at the time. No way in hell was I going to get up from my knees and go somewhere to spit. I simply didn’t want to, I like kneeling in front of Him too much. The swallowing was way more easier than I’ve expected. Actually, I love doing it for Him. And He obviously love me doing it too.
And then there were His fingers. I have experienced many men’s fingers on me before, but no one quite touches like the way He does. It just might be a Dominant thing. He touches me like he owns me, which he practically does during the session. There wasn’t any trace of hesitance or nervousness, He touches me with boldness and confidence, maybe even with a bit arrogance. His fingers deserve my worship.
Lastly, about the aftercare. I never was a big fan of cuddling. I didn’t need it, I don’t even like it. That is, after vanilla (conventional) sex. But I couldn’t be more glad to curl up in His arms during aftercare. Whole of me basically hummed in contentment. There are lots of little kisses on my lips and forehead and caresses and just Him making sure I was completely alright, not just physically but also mentally. And I was more than alright. I was… happy. 🙂
I cannot express how glad I am about my first Dom. I’m no good with words, written or spoken, but you would have to look really hard to find a more grateful little sub than me. ^^