Welcome to the Dungeon section. As you might suspect, BDSM is the thing I’m going to discuss here. And if you don’t know what BDSM stands for, please Google it at your own risk (especially if you’re at work right now). Here I will share my views, experiences, expectations and revelations on the subject as the rookie, the new kid in town. By no means am I the ambassador of kink, nor do my views and opinions represent the BDSM community as a whole. They are just my observations and views. But before we get down to the dirty and kinky business, I want to tell you a story about a girl like me, a girl from another world, a story about respect.
“Once upon a time, there was a girl… no, I’m just kidding 😀 Let’s get straight to the juicy bits. I am the kind of girl of whom every mother has warned their sons about and prayed their daughters wouldn’t turn into one. I love sex, more precisely pleasure. I love doing it, I love talking about it, and I never hide the fact how much I love it. My mom has told me numerous times that I need to tone it all down, because no men would want me otherwise. Maybe I should’ve listened to my mom, because if I played hard to get, I probably would be married with kids by now, I am thirty after all. Objectively I knew what I have to do, but did I want to pretend? Fuck no. I love talking about sex too much, even with strangers. I don’t think there is anything wrong with having sex on your first date. I don’t understand the games most women are playing, I don’t view sex as a weapon or a mean to get what I want in a relationship. I simply don’t see why it is so bad to express my sexuality whenever and wherever, with whomever I want. Most men have no idea what to do with a woman like me, so they give me labels that the society has taught them, labels such as ‘easy’, ‘whore’ and ‘slut’. Trust me, I’ve been called worst. Easy because I don’t like playing games? Whore because I don’t need ten dates and expensive dinners and presents to have sex? Slut because I know what I want and I don’t even mind begging for it? Sex for me is not a weapon, not a shield, and not a bargaining chip. I’ve long since accepted my fate. I am what I am, I’m not ashamed of being me, I will never change myself for anyone. And the way I am, most men I encountered, no matter how well-educated and otherwise gentlemen, don’t deem me as worthy of their respect.
The most blatant difference between the world of BDSM and the rest of the world (what I call the Vanilla world) is respect. You would think that the BDSM world filled with sexual humiliation, Master/slave and Dominant/submissive relationships, bondage and spankings, would be the world lacking of respect. But it’s the other way around. The foundation of BDSM is built on mutual respect. In this marvelous kinky universe of BDSM, I’m normal. In this part of the world, the men I encountered, Masters and Dominants, they appreciate my openness, my willingness and my enthusiasm. And most importantly, they respect me in a way I have never felt before. Many of my personality traits that strongly suggest submissiveness are mostly frown upon in the Vanilla world, in best case scenarios they were tolerated with disdain. But not in the world of kink. Dominants recognize and understand just how beautiful and precious my openness and submissiveness are. They find my eagerness to serve delightful and a sign of strength, not a weakness. They let me be me, 100% bare and vulnerable but still without fear that they would ever abuse it. Respect is what separates the world of kink with the rest of the world. There, with my people, I feel safe, I feel at ease, I feel respected, I feel appreciated… to me it feels like home.”
There. Happy Ending. 🙂
Don’t worry, I will get to the naughty stuff… eventually. 😉